Peace

Peace (Originally written December 5, 2014)

Whispering down the dark alleys of my heart,

the voice of my flesh cries out to me,

“Set me free. This is your true desire.”

The words gnaw at me,

reaching the corners of my mind,

permeating my spirit.

Instead, I reach out for a light

and one is provided.

Carrying this torch I see the truth.

My way to freedom was always at hand,

right in front of me,

waiting for me to enter

peace.

 

©Lauren Heiligenthal

The Cost of Discipleship

Sacrifice (Written November 12, 2014)

Wishing things could be different,

but I can’t change time

nor anyone’s mind.

All I can do is live my life.

 

Leaving behind what I love for the sake of Christ

is a pleasing sacrifice

to the One

who paid the ultimate price.

~

I wish you could join me on this journey,

walking in the footsteps God places before you.

But you have chosen your own path,

your own understanding of truth.

 

While following the world

you declare your love for the King.

But the world hates Him.

What sacrifice do you bring?

 

You cannot serve both the enemy and the Creator,

death and life,

Satan and the Savior.

To be lukewarm is to be spit out of God’s mouth.

 

We all have the choice to be disciples

in our hearts and lives.

But the cost of discipleship

is high.

 

We are called to be distinctive from this world

and obey our Master’s commands.

We must declare all truth

and be who the Lord demands.

 

There are sacrifices to be made

when we walk in His name.

But how wondrous the rewards

when we see Him one day.

~

I can no longer look back

and drag you along with me.

You’re going the opposite direction,

preventing my feet from moving.

 

Even though I love you,

and I hate that we have to part,

this is what I must do for Christ,

offer my sacrifice.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

 

Reflections on a Porch

I’m in the process of writing a longer post, but in the meantime I’d like to share another poem I wrote a few years ago (although it’s been tweaked a little since then). I was sitting on my parents’ front porch during a storm with my feet exposed to the rain. While observing the storm, the elements reminded me of the importance of unity within the church. With pen and paper in hand, I composed these thoughts:

Storm

I delight in the sound of rain

and its staccato touch on my feet as the drops fall

independently.

 

They fall independently,

yet as a whole they create a shower of blessing and peace;

but only as one.

 

We can also touch other lives as individuals and make a significant difference,

but only when we work as one can there be an outpouring of blessing,

of victory.

 

The stillness is calming,

the occasional clap of thunder inviting

as it reminds us warriors of the ongoing battles we fight.

 

Lightning is the most miraculous of all

for even when all is dark and stormy,

light pierces the darkness.

 

Lightning takes the darkness by surprise,

and all is exposed.

Thunder follows,

alerting the warriors that the battle against evil

is one step closer to victory.

 

Exposing evil brings freedom.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Holding Innocence

Children are quite an amazing gift. I mentioned in my first post (“Faith Like a Child”) that my best friends have twins. They are 19 months old now and as exploratory as ever. Sometimes they can try my patience, but then there are those serene moments that I don’t want to end. A couple of times this week I had the joy of holding each boy after he woke up from his nap. One twin one day, the other twin another day. After waking up, each one discovered that he was still tired. So I rocked him back to sleep. It was such a wonderful feeling knowing that he wanted me to hold him, that he felt comfortable in my arms. I loved looking at his little face and seeing him at peace. I enjoyed feeling his breathing (and sometimes hearing a snore or two). No matter what has been going on in my life lately, it didn’t matter at that moment. With everything going in the world—ISIS, Ebola, Russia and Ukraine, the moral depravity of our nation—this was a moment to remember the beauty of innocence.

I feel so blessed to hold these children when I know the innocence of children around the world is being shattered. How can humanity justify slaughtering such a precious gift, whether it’s abortion, decapitation by a terrorist, or indoctrinating them to fight for evil? Such people are certainly not justified before God (unless they ask for forgiveness). Consider what Jesus says in Luke 18:15-17,

And they were bringing even their babies to Him so that He would touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they began rebuking them. But Jesus called for them, saying, ‘Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.’

In Matthew 18:1-7, 10 Jesus teaches His disciples a similar, but more detailed, message:

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, ‘Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, ‘Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes! …See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven.’”

As you can read, children are important to God, and Christ uses them as examples of how we should live.

It is also the responsibility of parents and/or guardians to train their children in the wisdom of God and teach them about His wondrous works. Psalm 78:5-8 says,

“For He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers that they should teach them to their children, that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, that they may arise and tell them to their children, that they should put their confidence in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments,  and not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation that did not prepare its heart and whose spirit was not faithful to God.”

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Additionally, Solomon gives his son a great piece of advice in Proverbs 3:11-12, “My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord or loathe His reproof, for whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.”

Discipline is not only important for children, but for Christians of all ages. This citation from Proverbs is repeated in Hebrews 12:5-6. Paul (this is who I believe wrote Hebrews) continues to explain the necessity of discipline in vv. 7-11. He not only provides insight into how children ought to be disciplined (particularly by their fathers in this context), but how we should receive discipline from the Lord:

“It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness.  All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.”

As most parents/guardians will attest, disciplining a child is never fun. But we know it’s necessary in order to instill obedience and shape godly character. Our intentions are for good as are the Father’s intentions for our lives. The need for discipline is even more critical as immorality is increasingly becoming the norm in society. Yet even amidst such depravity, we can still have hope in the Lord and experience joy in His children who bring the light of innocence into this dark world.

Children teach us to have humility and complete trust before the Father. They demonstrate the importance of discipline in our lives. And, important for me, they teach us how to slow down and appreciate just being with one another.

As I slowly rock a baby to sleep, I can experience peace in a world of chaos.

~~~

Innocence (Originally written October 1-2, 2014)

As you lay your head upon my chest

and gently fall asleep,

I can’t help but hold you tight

and feel a sense of peace.

 

Such tiny features

so beautifully created,

I can’t fathom how your life

could ever be debated.

 

You bring immense joy

into a world full of pain—

a shining light,

growing brighter every day.

 

A gift from God,

you bring hope into my life,

teaching me how to have faith

and to let go of strife.

 

In this depraved world

you outshine the rest,

possessing what most have lost:

God’s blessing of pure innocence.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

 

 

Live Like Christ

Do you ever have moments when your mind recalls past mistakes and failures? I do. On the flip side, there are times when I’ll remember good things about myself and then wonder if they still exist. I know I’ve changed over these past few years, and I know that some people don’t understand that the change has been for the better. Sometimes we have to leave what we know behind and move forward. It’s not necessarily because our lives are horrible, but rather, God has called us to do something else, to be someone else.

In the midst of change in my life, I was in school most of the time. I’m grateful for my education, and I know that God called me to finish my degrees. However, I’ve learned that a person needs to have solid faith before starting a Christian education (or any education). I know this sounds strange. You would think such an education would help build up my faith. Instead, my faith was tested. There were many times when Scripture and classroom teaching were not in sync. I started to challenge what I was taught, and it was not always welcomed by faculty. I had to make a choice: Defend truth or believe everything I was taught. I’ve been trying to defend truth ever since. There were times when it was difficult to go to school, but I was reminded that there’s always something to learn even if I don’t agree with it. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not perfect. I’m still learning and working on my areas of struggle. As a result, I wrote a poem a few months ago to help me figure out my thoughts. Maybe you can relate.

Live Like Christ (originally written March 13, 2014)

My mind keeps wandering,

reminiscing about the past.

I get drawn in too deep

with no way to escape.

 

I remember all my mistakes,

and when I was more courageous.

I let myself become someone I wasn’t,

and I discarded too much of who I was.

 

I used to sing proud

and comfort a friend in need.

I fought for Your truth,

but now I’m caught between truth and theology.

 

Father, help me dig through my sin and fear

and find who I’m supposed to be.

I want to live,

live like Christ.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Dichotomy

Are you influenced by the world? I’m not sure I’d believe you if your answer is “No.” We’re all part of a culture (or many cultures) from the time we’re born. We don’t realize how much it becomes ingrained in us until we are confronted with other cultures. What may be acceptable in my culture may not be acceptable in yours. Scripture is a whole different standard. It rises above culture even though God can work within it. As Christians we’re taught to be in the world but not of it. Easier said than done. We’re called to live differently even though our culture may not understand. We stand against the world’s norms only to be attacked for not being tolerant. We’re called to fight our flesh and walk in the Spirit. As much as I’ve grown in the Lord over the years, I still struggle with fear and worry. I didn’t realize how much I still think like the American culture until recently. God has demonstrated His power and provision abundantly in my life, yet I still falter. I’m sure I’m not alone. From what I’ve observed through my Christian education, current Christianity (at least from an American perspective) is not that different from the world…and this is a problem. We claim the supremacy and power of God while trying to do everything on our own. We follow the cultural routine of going to school, getting a job, making money, etc. without even consulting God because we’re taught that these actions are the right, Christian things to do. We’re also inspired when we read about the disciples because they dropped everything to follow Christ. They literally left their livelihoods. Sometimes they were ordered by Christ to take money and extra clothing with them on their journeys whereas other times they were supposed to be provided for by the people they ministered to. As disciples of Christ, are we willing to follow God like this? To live in constant trust that the Lord takes care of His children? I don’t know about you, but it’s the world in me that keeps me from such trust…and it’s my job to kick it out. I wrote a short poem to help me sort through all of these thoughts.

The World in Me (originally written September 9, 2014)

Striving to follow God,

I’m being held back by my own mind.

I thought I purged the world from within,

but there’s still residue.

 

I never realized how powerful culture can be

until I started to fight it.

How ingrained are my ways of thinking.

How set are the priorities of the world.

 

I focus on what’s temporary instead of the eternal.

I place what I need to accomplish above others.

Instead of following the wisdom of the world,

I ought to be a fool for Christ:

 

Ministry is greater than monetary gain.

Selflessness demonstrates true love.

Forgiveness is more powerful than bitterness.

Trusting what is unseen results in the miraculous.

 

The world does not understand these things,

but the Spirit does.

It’s time to stop living with this dichotomy

and vanquish the world in me.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

A Tribute to the Persecuted and Slain

You told the Father you’d follow His will.

You accepted His Son without hesitancy.

You carried your cross even unto the gates of hell,

But the enemy did not prevail.

 

Tortured, battered, beheaded

For the sake of His name,

You have stood for righteousness

In a world where evil reigns.

 

You’ve demonstrated the cost of discipleship

By laying down your life.

Death was more honorable than saying,

“I forsake Jesus Christ.”

 

I hear your stories, and I weep for you.

How can humanity be so cruel?

Yet even with such malicious intent,

Your sacrifice is beautiful.

 

It is beautiful to the One who welcomes you home,

To Him who says, “I will avenge!”

It is beautiful to the Son who understands your pain,

To Him who calls you servant, child, and friend.

 

You have placed your feet on the Solid Rock

When all around you is quicksand.

Your resilience in the midst of adversity

Has challenged the Body to stand.

 

We will remember you

And your commitment to the King.

May we be willing to live like you,

Giving up everything.

 

This world is not our home.

It only reaps anger, hatred, and fear.

Our destination is eternity

Where the Lord heals every pain, wipes every tear.

 

To all of God’s people, stand firm and be ready

For the enemy shows no restraint.

But whatever the cost may be,

Let us stand strong with the persecuted and slain.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Breaking the Chains

We are free in Christ, yet why are we still bound by certain sins? Our flesh fights against our spirit daily. The more we try to follow God, the more we feel it. The more we feel it, the more we want to give into our flesh because it seems easier. I write this from my own daily experience. For as long as I can remember I have been prone to anger and giving into frustrations. It may not seem like such a “terrible” sin, but it affects everyone around me. I can’t even count how many times I’ve had to say “I’m sorry.” Sometimes I’m not aware of what’s lurking underneath the surface until something (usually small) happens, and I snap. Other times I feel it building, and even though I know it’s wrong to give in, it’s so hard to not want to release the wrath. Many times I do. Yet, God doesn’t let me off the hook. He’s made it clear that I need to change, and if He has confidence in me that I can do it, then I can. We all have struggles and recurring sins that seem to hold us bound, but remember that we are free! We don’t have to give into our flesh. Our Father has confidence in us, His children, to make the right choices. If we follow Him wholeheartedly and die to our flesh daily, we can become godly men and women who are lights in this world. I’m definitely better than I was a few years ago, but there’s still more work to do. Let’s encourage one another in Christ so that we can be mature and ready for everything God has for us to do.

A few months ago I wrote a poem describing my fight with anger. I hope it encourages and challenges you.

Anger (originally written May 13, 2014)

I wake up, but I am not alone.

I feel the claws and the burning underneath my skin.

It’s trying to get out,

and I can’t contain it for long.

 

How destructive is a thought?

It never seems like much

until it starts to grow.

A thought then transforms

into an emotion,

and it changes me from the inside

out.

 

The claws, the thoughts, the emotions—

the monster breaks free,

leaving me bound and hopeless.

I lash out without thought,

wanting to feel the wrath,

yet secretly wishing to change.

 

The wave of destruction hits,

but then guilt.

“I didn’t fight hard enough.

I could’ve killed it.”

Yet I forget that it answers to me.

 

I have bound myself to its will,

forgetting I am free

because Christ has removed my chains.

It is now time to carry my cross

and kill the anger inside.

If I am a slave,

it’s only because I choose to be.

Season

We all go through seasons in our lives, and sometimes it seems easier to let the tough ones lead us away from God. But as many of us have learned, walking away from God doesn’t make things better. Instead, let us cling to the Lord and grow through our pain and trials. May we become more refined and stronger in our Christian walk because of it. Here’s a depiction of what that looks like.

Season (originally written February 8, 2014)

A new flower blossoms in springtime

as it bathes in radiant sunshine

and drinks in the refreshing rain

from heaven.

 

Nothing to disturb it now

except a storm or two,

but even if a few petals fall

they will grow back anew.

~

The inevitable comes as the wind changes,

the air feels crisp and chill.

The petals fall more frequently now.

How can this be God’s will?

 

Exposed, bare, and withered

the flower disappears under a blanket of snow

and ponders its purpose.

Oh, how will it grow?

~

Time passes by;

it feels like an eternity.

Then a ray of light pierces the darkness,

and the flower rediscovers its identity.

 

In truth, it was never lost.

Only a season had passed.

The blossoms begin to return

and this year, the flower is stronger than last.

 

It is a mystery why the seasons change,

why the world becomes cold,

why the light seems to fade,

yet without the death of the old,

new things cannot unfold.

 

With the passing of a season,

the flower becomes alive again

with newfound hope and rejuvenation.

Now there is nothing to fear,

nothing to dread,

because the Creator knows what lies ahead.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

What is True Beauty?

Beauty (originally written May 27, 2009)

Beauty is not characterized

by the efforts of my appearance,

but was borne

upon two wooden beams and through three piercing nails.

 

With each drive of a nail

faces line up in the mind of the Savior, one after another,

each with a mask of his own:

deception, shame, pride.

 

With each tear being shed

and every cry screaming from the cross,

women fall into the arms of men,

hoping to find true love and longing to hear those words:

“You are beautiful.”

 

With each dig from the thorns

and tearing of flesh,

men seek fortune and fame,

believing that power can only be obtained

through ambitions and violence.

 

“It is finished.”

The world with its

tainted love and enticing roads to death

stands still.

 

Divine blood pours over

the lost and broken,

vain and deceptive,

young and aged.

 

It penetrates every evil,

wipes off each mask,

exposes truth

and defines true love.

 

This beauty can only be found

through such brokenness,

through such sacrifice,

with the invitation of accepting it for myself.

 

Beauty is the power of Your love

that flows through my veins

and enraptures all of who You are

in me.

© Lauren Heiligenthal