Poetry

Be Still and Know

I had my own plans today. I wanted to keep looking back through old poems and songs and continue to create music. But as soon as I started, it wasn’t right. I knew it in my spirit. I knew my motive wasn’t right, and I finally did what I should’ve done in the first place: ask God. As soon as I asked Him, I knew that I was being told to write something new. As I’ve mentioned in recent posts, I’ve been reading through the Old Testament, and I’ve currently been in the prophets. All of them have the same overarching message to Israel and Judah: “Return to the Lord God.” They fell into the sin of idolatry and were often compared to being adulteresses. They were unfaithful to the one true God and sought other man-made gods and nations. All of these books and stories have been passed down to us so that we would learn from them (1 Corinthians 10). But bluntly stated, we haven’t. Our idols may not look exactly the same, but we have plenty of them. James’ words in James 4:1-10 are reminiscent of the prophets words to Israel and Judah:

“What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. You are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures. You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose: “He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us”? But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be miserable and mourn and weep; let your laughter be turned into mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.” (Bold words for emphasis)

James wrote this to believers in the church. Specifically, he wrote it to Jewish believers who had been scattered amongst the nations (James 1:1). Sound familiar? I know I’m guilty of befriending the world. As much as I’ve tried to fight it my whole life, I still seek man’s approval. Even when I genuinely want to write something or create something for the Lord, there is still a part of me that wants to know what people think. American culture has made that even more difficult with our electronic devices and social media. It feels impossible to balance it all out and remain in right-standing with God. The Lord deserves everything we have to give because He gave it all for us. Our faithfulness cannot be wavering if we are to be the bride He desires us to be. As James instructed, the church needs to humble itself and mourn for our unfaithfulness.

In response to the Lord telling me to write something new, I wrote a poem called “Be Still and Know.”

“Be still and know Me;
Know My peace, know My rest.
Stop running around.
Slow that pumping in your chest.
This world is full of idols
To entrap and ensnare.
Some may seem innocent,
But it’s still an affair.”

Harlotry, idolatry, adultery
Committed against my King.
My covenant should be with You alone,
But I’ve made the world’s voice my everything.

Nakedness exposed,
You uncover the ugly truth
That I’ve sought man’s approval
Ever since my youth.

Temporary joy,
Words tickle my ears.
Flattery inflates what’s already inside:
My sin of pride.

Like ancient Israel, I’ve fallen into idolatry
Forgetting what my King has done for me.
I deserve to be exiled from His throne,
But instead, My forgiving Father calls me home:

“Be still and know Me.
Obey My commands.
Know My everlasting truth.
I’ll lead you to the Promised Land.
The world will hate you if you follow Me,
But your crown is for eternity.
My sacrifice is worth it all
So let your idols fall.
You are My bride,
My beloved one,
Return faithfully to Me
So you can behold My majesty and glory.”

His words wash over my shame,
Cleansing me from within.
He gives me a new name,
“Redeemed Daughter,” He has spoken.

I take off my ring,
And hurl it at the world,
Divorcing myself from its sin
So that I can become whole with my Beloved again.

Bride of Christ, do not tarry;
Do not wait!
Repent from your idols or face your fate.
Learn from His Word;
Remember His rage.
He is a jealous God who no one can tame.
Return with a whole heart or be cast away.
For He doesn’t want second-hand praise from those who go astray.
Be hot or cold;
Make your choice today.
Be still and know:
He won’t delay.

~~~

Here is a song version of the poem: Be Still and Know

© Lauren Demuth

God’s Truth Through Music

God’s Word and music are both amazing gifts from the Lord. When they’re put together, life-changing moments can happen. When I was in a pit a few years ago, music helped me to remember God’s truth and to reach for the light. Over many years I’ve written poems and songs, many of which I’ve shared on my blog. While I enjoy singing, I don’t play an instrument or have a band so the songs and poems stayed on paper, and sometimes they didn’t see the light for years. Now with the ingenuity and progression with AI, songs and poems on paper can become alive. I struggled with this idea at first because my brain was telling me it was cheating to have AI help write music or rewrite lyrics to better fit a song. But then I had these verses pop in my head:

“…Be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father.” Ephesians 5:18-20

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” Philippians 4:8

“Sing to the Lord a new song;

Sing to the Lord, all the earth.

Sing to the Lord, bless His name;

Proclaim good tidings of His salvation from day to day.

Tell of His glory among the nations,

His wonderful deeds among all the peoples.

For great is the Lord and greatly to be praised;

He is to be feared above all gods.

For all the gods of the peoples are idols,

But the Lord made the heavens.

Splendor and majesty are before Him,

Strength and beauty are in His sanctuary.

Psalm 96:1-6

The message I was getting was if God’s truth is being preached, how can that be cheating? God inspired me in my writings, and now I get to hear His words back to me in song. It’s been AMAZING! Even though it’s not my voice singing, I realized that’s probably a good thing so that I would focus less on my voice and more on the message. Plus, I never realized how many of my poems fit well with rap, which has been quite insightful 🙂 I have not finished all the songs yet, but I wanted to take the opportunity to share what’s finished with you.

This is a link to my family’s brand new YouTube channel featuring songs that we have created with the help of Suno-Music AI. More will be added soon, but I’m excited to share my playlist called “Redeemed”.

I hope you are encouraged and challenged by the songs, and most importantly, that God will speak to you whether you’re on the mountaintop or in the valley. David wrote psalms in every kind of moment in his life, and now I’m beginning to understand how that helped him to stay in right-standing with the Lord. The enemy loves to use music to persuade the world to follow him, but it was created by the Lord God, Creator of heaven and earth. Let’s use it for His glory, bringing restoration to the church and leading the lost to salvation!

Thank you, Father, for the songs You’ve sung over me. Thank you for Your redemption.

© Lauren Demuth

Righteousness

Since I wrote my last blog post about contentment, it has been quite a journey—a more difficult journey than I expected. Part of this journey has been learning to stop doing for the sake of doing and listen to what the Lord wants me to do (or not do). That leads me to last night where I debated back and forth between reading something I wanted to read or writing and spending time with the Lord. As I finally stopped the debate and knew what I was supposed to do, I wondered what I was going to write. And the Lord clearly said, “I want you to write a poem.” I didn’t know what to write a poem about, but He already knew what I was going to say and responded, “Write what I tell you.” The Lord has always helped me write when I’ve asked so I knew He would this time. Also, for reasons unbeknownst to me, it was important to share this poem today, so here it is:

Righteousness

Righteousness dwells in the house of the Most High

where death and shadows abate.

Newness of life springs forth

while hell’s gates close their fate.

What once was dead is now alive,

breathing for the first time in the kingdom of heaven.

Rejoice, sons and daughters of the Most High,

for the slave has become a child of God,

filled with the Spirit,

embraced by the Son,

forgiven by the Father.

Joy overflowing.

Love pursuing.

Peace overcoming.

New life triumphs over death

as flesh and spirit converge,

demanding the choice between

wickedness or righteousness.

The Spirit of God within is greater than

the spirit without,

battling temptations,

building faith,

enduring trials,

finishing the race,

when, at last, the child of God hears those fateful words,

“Well done, good and faithful servant.

Enter into My rest.”

©Lauren Demuth

Forever Yours

Darkness descends upon my soul

as fear and self-hatred entrap me.

The earth opens revealing a pit

with an insatiable appetite.

Defeated, I fall to where all seems lost,

to where light fades into hopelessness.

 

Tears, anguish, death.

Each attempt to escape sends me

deeper, deeper into sorrow,

transforming me into someone unrecognizable.

“Oh God, I can’t believe You love me!

How wretched I am–a failure!”

 

How can there be hope for me,

so undeserving,

so unlovable,

so unrighteous?

The darkness twists lies into truth–

easier to cling to than forgiveness.

 

“Fight, fight! Don’t let the enemy win!”

A faint cry breaks through the darkness, almost incomprehensible.

“I love you! You are Mine! Even broken, you are beautiful!”

Music to my soul, I hear my Father’s voice

leading me out,

shining His light so I could come home.

 

How can it be

that He loves me so?

How can it be

that I’m worth it?

How can it be

that with all my mistakes, He still blesses me?

 

Father, Your grace astounds me;

Your love saves me;

Your Spirit moves me;

Your joy envelops me;

Your faithfulness lifts me;

Your sacrifice will keep me

forever Yours!

~~~

It’s been almost a year since I wrote my last poem “Faith Over Fear.” Thinking about writing this post was difficult because I struggled to keep that mindset of having faith over fear; rather, for awhile, I let fear grow inside me to such a point that I became lost to who I was. As a Christian of 23 years, this did not seem right. I was ashamed of my behavior, my thoughts, my hopelessness. There really isn’t a catalyst moment for why this began, but I can say it seemed to start last summer. I had just finished a school year that I didn’t expect to end well, but it did. I was proud of being able to accomplish a teaching job that I felt was impossible and out of my league. When I wrote “Faith Over Fear,” I had finally given things over to God, and even though my job was not a piece of cake, I saw people and situations with God’s perspective more than my own. I even fought to keep my job and worked harder towards obtaining a teaching license. So why did that change? I don’t fully know. All I know is that fear and anxiety gripped me to the point of dangerous thinking. Everyone could see it, which made it worse. I have never been one to hide my emotions, but in this case, it wasn’t just my job at stake, it was my testimony. How can I say I follow God when I let fear and doubt cripple me so badly. Where was my faith? It was depleted. There’s no sugar-coating it. I felt I could not succeed at what I was doing; therefore, I was a failure. It didn’t matter God opened doors; I was unwilling to let things go and trust Him. I said “I can’t!” and I loathed my own poster I put in my classroom, which read “Don’t say you can’t until you discover that you can!” My conviction was staring at me in the face until I couldn’t take it–I quit. I quit, thinking the job was the problem. It wasn’t. The fear and anxiety continued, but now I was truly a failure. I gave up! I have never given up before! And I had to face my decision. I had to face myself and the reality of it all. “You’re stupid. You’re worthless. Look what you did to your family. How could you?” Thoughts, lies, over and over multiple times a day, every day. Self-hatred reigned in me. I can forgive anyone else but myself. It was torture to the point where my thoughts went dark–places I never, ever thought my mind would go.

Now some may be thinking, “Come on, Lauren, this was just a job. It’s OK to fail!” But not to me. Failure has never been an option although I know how ridiculous that sounds. I know it’s true we learn from failure, but it was the idea that I gave up. I know God would have given me the strength and knowledge to keep going. I just didn’t want to. I didn’t believe I could do it. Those awful thoughts were relentless. I didn’t trust myself alone. But those who love me didn’t give up on me even when I gave up on myself. They loved me when I felt unlovable. They encouraged me, prayed for me, held me. Little by little the light came back in. I started applying for jobs–and oh how my pride wanted to take over. What started as “I would never apply for that” became “Oh, please call me back!” I finally got a job, and although it’s nothing I would have ever planned for myself, it’s good for me for now as I continue to grow in the Lord. My hope is to be able to teach Bible one day when the timing is right–truly, when I’m in the right place with God to teach again. Just those little steps forward helped me to gain confidence. I enjoy interacting with people and actually being a light to those around me. As many know, music can be powerful, and I love to sing. While everything was going on, I lost my joy of singing as I felt like a hypocrite to sing praises to God when I wasn’t trusting Him. But I started listening to the 2019 Wow CD and also to Lauren Daigle’s CD “How Can It Be” (I still listen to this every morning on my way to work). The songs awoke something inside me and as I started to sing, I started to believe the words, and essentially the truth, once again. There is still so much for me to work on, but I am beyond grateful and blessed to still be here, and God’s grace has been more than sufficient. His love is so immense that even when we don’t love ourselves it’s still there, waiting for us to accept it.

Although this post isn’t easy to write, it’s during these times where we can decide to stay in the pit or be transformed and grow. I mistakenly thought that the pit was my new home, but thanks be to God that He called me out and placed my feet on the solid Rock once again! I encourage you to reach out to your brothers and sisters in Christ. Everyone is going through something; it doesn’t matter if it seems big or small. Lift each other up and help to bring Christ’s love and light back into their lives. You never know the impact one word or gesture could make.

~~~

Side note: I didn’t realize until after I wrote the poem how much it resembled Psalm 30, which is also a great read. Check it out!

©Lauren Heiligenthal

Faith Over Fear

I close my eyes

and visualize

paths leading to my demise,

where fear leads me to wander.

 

I stand frozen

knowing I’ve been chosen

for something greater than

drinking the enemy’s poison.

 

The choice is mine:

To follow the Divine

on the straight and narrow defined,

the path leading to glory,

 

Or to walk down easy street

where, with every step, the truth retreats

to the back of my mind and defeat

becomes my story.

 

Countless times the choice seems clear,

yet too often I cater to fear,

who takes the joy from what I hold dear,

leaving me empty and broken.

 

If I had faith the size of a mustard seed,

I could move mountains from land to sea

and fulfill God’s call inside of me

to become who I’m meant to be.

 

The Lord knows every thought

and sees my river of tears.

The Creator calls out to me,

reminding me that He has conquered fear:

 

“Break forth, child of God, daughter of the King.

Shine bright, let your righteousness bring

the truth to the nations,

a fragrant offering.

 

Sing with all your soul

and let yourself become whole

as you take My hand and stroll

down the road to everlasting.

 

No fear can conquer Me,

and my Spirit is inside of thee

with the power to crush the enemy

underneath your feet.

 

Take hold of your shield

with faith you can wield

against weapons of defeat

and let yourself be healed.

 

Stand firm, soldier of the living God!

My Word is a double-edged sword;

My mouth is a flaming fire,

consuming all the enemy’s horde.

 

Fear Me above all else.

Have faith that you are victorious in Me,

and there will be no reason to doubt

That you will become who I created you to be.”

 

 

Written February 24, 2019

 

©Lauren Heiligenthal

Runaway

As you stand in front of the looking glass,

Face yourself, Runaway.

Remove your mask;

Unveil your pain.

 

Open your eyes to see the demons surrounding you,

Poisoning your mind, sucking out truth.

Open your ears to hear My voice,

The gentle whisper amidst the noise.

 

Cut your baggage, Runaway;

Let the broken pieces fall.

Their weight has deformed you,

Kept you from standing tall.

 

Look beyond yourself and see

The lion prowling like a thief.

His appetite is never satisfied;

He’s ready to devour and has you in mind.

 

What can you do?

Where can you run,

When you’ve known the truth

But neglected the Son?

 

There’s only one path

That leads to life:

Stop running and call upon

The name that is Light!

 

Shed the darkness!

Yell at the fear!

Pick up your weapon,

Destroy the “you” in the mirror!

 

Repent, My daughter,

And run back to Me!

I will fight for you;

Your comfort, let Me be.

 

I will cover your shame,

Make you a new creation.

I will give you a new name,

A sign of salvation.

 

Come back, My beloved,

Though the enemy is strong.

My love is greater;

Come back to My song.

 

Close your eyes, Runaway,

As I place a new mirror before thee.

Now you must choose

The path you will seek:

To run to the world

Or come back to Me.

 

Open your eyes;

Who do you see?

 

©Lauren Heiligenthal

 

 

 

 

A Message for the Bride (Updated)

Over ten years ago, I wrote a poem called “Bride of Christ.” The same call that the LORD cried out to ancient Israel who was unfaithful to Him also rings out to the church, the bride of Christ. Will we be friends with the world or become strong disciples of Christ, knowing and living truth faithfully until He returns? Below is the original poem, followed by a link to a song version written with the help of AI. I hope you are both challenged and encouraged as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Bride of Christ

Where have you gone, My bride?

Whose foreign arms have you sought?

Have I not been faithful?

Did I not incline My ear towards you?

~

Before you were ready to be called Mine

I knew you.

I knew the trials you would face

And the temptations of the world.

~

Therefore, I gave you My Word.

Even My Spirit I placed within you

To lead you back to Me,

Your King, your Savior.

~

Yet with all of My blessings

You have forsaken Me for another;

For one who is not worthy,

Who leads you down the wide path of destruction.

~

Wake up from your slumber!

See where you are and choose.

Call upon Me, and I will restore you.

Tarry, and you will be lost.

~

Trim your wicks.

Get the oil ready.

Return to Me as a spotless bride

And remain faithful until I come.

~

Song Version: Bride of Christ

© Lauren Demuth

Choose to Build Up

After taking down the Christmas tree and decorations I had the thought that it’s a lot easier to tear down than to build up. I’m sure many people have used this same analogy to describe our own behavior, but it’s true. Is it not much easier to give in to our flesh and think of the pessimistic side of things? I have struggled in this area quite a bit. Is it not easier to pick out everyone else’s faults or even our own instead of building each other up? Is this not prevalent in the body of Christ? The world approaches life from the flesh, but we have been blessed with the Spirit. We don’t have to think and act the way we used to. Rather, we are commanded to do the opposite:

“8 But since we are of the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet, the hope of salvation. 9 For God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ,10 who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep, we will live together with Him. 11 Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. 12 But we request of you, brethren, that you appreciate those who diligently labor among you, and have charge over you in the Lord and give you instruction, 13 and that you esteem them very highly in love because of their work. Live in peace with one another. 14 We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone.15 See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. 16 Rejoice always; 17 pray without ceasing; 18 in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 19 Do not quench the Spirit; 20 do not despise prophetic utterances. 21 But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; 22 abstain from every form of evil.” ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:8-22 (NASB)

“12 Take care, brethren, that there not be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart that falls away from the living God. 13 But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,” so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” ~ Hebrews 3:12-13

Let us love and encourage one another. May our attitudes reflect Christ in our lives. It may be harder to choose to live by the Spirit rather than the flesh, but as Christians, this is the life we have chosen. This is following Christ.

Here’s a poem I wrote a little while ago about my own struggle with pessimism. I hope you find it encouraging:

Pessimism (written November 29, 2014)

That voice, I hear it

as it sneaks in insidiously,

telling me lies;

and I believe them.

 

A hopeful thought

becomes distorted,

crushed,

no more.

 

I convince myself that these invading thoughts

are more realistic,

preparing me for potential failures,

not realizing that they hinder me from success.

 

Where is my hope?

Is it not in Christ?

Then why be fearful?

Why let the light fade?

 

Confidence is not the same as arrogance.

Experiencing failures provides new opportunities for growth.

Being adventurous can reveal a world unknown.

Joyfulness will not only uplift myself but others.

 

Positivity is a choice, my choice.

It can change a life, my life.

What will I choose?

Who will I become?

 

©Lauren Heiligenthal

How Bright Is Your Light Today?

Light

The flame flickers,

Dancing with the wind.

Rising and falling,

Its light waxes and wanes with each gust.

 

The wind, the changing moments of our lives,

Is quite powerful,

Dictating how bright the light will be.

What will we do?

 

Some ignore the wind,

Denying that they have changed,

That their light has become dim.

“At least it is still burning,” they say.

 

Some give in to the wind,

Allowing it to toss them here and there,

Following the world while trying to cling to Christ.

“The flame may flicker, but it is still there,” they say.

 

But then there are some who face the wind

Because their flame has matured to a raging fire

Which cannot be snuffed out.

“Our confidence is in the One who has the power to calm the wind,” they say.

 

This light will continue to shine forth

When all other flames

Go out.

How bright is your light today?

 

©Lauren Heiligenthal

I Am Nobody Else But Me

I Am Nobody Else But Me (Originally written December 8, 2014)

I am nobody else,

and everyone else is not me.

I am who I was created to be,

unique in essence and beauty.

 

I am not you,

and you are not me.

There’s no need to be like each other.

We each have a different purpose, you see.

 

There is no standard of who I should be

except Christ alone.

There is no mold

for me.

 

There is no logic comparing myself

with someone

who is not

me.

 

I am only one,

and this one is enough.

I am enough for the One who has called me

to be me.

 

There is one me.

There is one you.

Let us rejoice in how we are created,

and live life anew.

 

©Lauren Heiligenthal