Encouragement

Why Would God Tell You That?

Is that a question you’ve heard before? Or maybe it was implied by someone’s response to you sharing what’s been on your heart. You felt confident God was calling you in one direction, but those around you couldn’t understand it or thought you’re behavior was irrational. “Certainly God wouldn’t call you to leave what you know and go somewhere foreign.” Or “God wouldn’t call you to quit your job and start something new”. Or “God wouldn’t ask you to go into debt by going back to school”. Or [insert your situation here]. Seeds of doubt get planted, and you begin to wonder if you really heard God.

I think all of us have had at least one moment like that in our lives, and most likely more than one. It’s what we do in that moment that counts, and prayer is the best way to start. How many times in the Bible was God patient enough to encourage those who doubted what He asked or who felt inadequate to complete the task. Moses is the first person who comes to mind, and he helped to free the Israelites from slavery, gave them the Law from God and wrote the Pentateuch. There are numerous examples of God telling people to do things that we might call crazy, like Hosea being commanded to take a harlot as a wife to demonstrate Israel’s unfaithfulness to the Lord, or Noah building the ark, or Abraham leaving his country (especially at an older age) to wander in the wilderness where God led him. But one person stands out especially in this season of Christmas, and that person is Mary.

Many of us have grown up hearing the story of the nativity, and Mary being chosen by God to give birth to the Messiah. What is less taught is how all of this was counter-cultural in their day. According to scholars, Mary would have been a teenager, and Scripture tells us she was betrothed to Joseph. While in our culture, we would view this as an engagement but not an official marriage, in ancient Israel, they were viewed as husband and wife already. In the famously deemed Ten Commandments of the Law, the seventh commandment is “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14). But there was much more detail to the Law than the Ten Commandments, especially regarding unfaithfulness. Leviticus 20 is just one chapter devoted to the consequences of the sins of sexual immorality. Usually the result was death. John 8 demonstrates that the practice of stoning an adulterous woman to death still occurred in the first century AD. This practice from the Law is written in Deuteronomy 22:23-24, “If there is a girl who is a virgin engaged to a man, and another man finds her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city and you shall stone them to death; the girl because she did not cry out in the city, and the man, because he has violated his neighbor’s wife. Thus you shall purge the evil from among you.”

With this in mind, imagine Mary, a young virgin who is betrothed, winds up pregnant. A virgin getting pregnant would be seemingly impossible, so what would be the alternative thought? Adultery, most likely. Matthew’s account makes it clear that even though Mary and Joseph were betrothed, they had not consummated their marriage yet. Therefore, a pregnancy would’ve been viewed as unfaithfulness. Mary knew the Law, but when she was told by the angel Gabriel that she was chosen by God and that she would become pregnant through His power, she responds, “Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word” (Luke 1:38). How incredible is that! Knowing that this choice could result in death according to the Law, she trusts in the Lord. Even more, she praises the Lord for regarding a humble person as herself and exalts the Lord for His magnificence (Luke 1:46-55-The Magnificat).

Joseph’s response also demonstrates his exemplary character, and no doubt why God chose him (as well as being of the lineage of David). Matthew describes Joseph as a “righteous man” (Matt. 1:19) and says that “not wanting to disgrace her (Mary), planned to send her away secretly.” While some may find it harsh that Joseph would essentially divorce her, he was actually giving up his right to bring her before the court and have her stoned as the Law states should happen for an adulterous woman. Rather, he was willing to protect her and put the shame on himself. But thankfully, the Lord sent an angel to deter him from this decision and explained to him what happened. Just like Mary, Joseph didn’t question what was told him, but Matthew 1:24-25 says, “Joseph awoke from his sleep and did as the angel of the Lord commanded him, and took Mary as his wife, but kept her a virgin until she gave birth to a Son; and he called His name Jesus.”

If there was any time to doubt that you heard from God, the situation these two faced would be at the top of the list. Everyone knows that they haven’t officially consummated their marriage. Everyone knows that the Law says an adulteress would be stoned to death. But the Lord orchestrated everything perfectly. Since Mary was betrothed, the decision was up to Joseph, who God knew to be a righteous man who wouldn’t harm Mary. He knew Mary would fulfill the task because she was a faithful woman of God and considered God’s choice to be a blessing to her. The story of the birth of Christ is one of hope and amazing love, and it all began with faith that what God said was true and would be fulfilled.

God knew what the Law said—He wrote it! He knew what He asked of Mary and Joseph would not line up culturally. But God is above culture! God is above all things! God speaks to us if we’re willing to have ears to hear and understand. If you know that God has called you to do something, and you’ve gone before Him in prayer (this is important!), have the faith of Mary and Joseph who said, “May Your will be done, Lord.” Their faith resulted in the birth of our Savior who has redeemed us and saved us from our sin.

Even if you feel alone in your decision, the Lord will be there to guide you and provide for you along your journey. Let’s pray together:

Father, we thank you for the truth of Your Word, that it is a lamp to guide us when we falter or doubt. You’ve chosen many people before us to fulfill Your will, and we thank you that we can learn and be encouraged by their faithfulness. We have the blessing to see promises fulfilled that not many of them saw. Help us to hear your voice and drown out the world that seeks to discourage and destroy us. We desire to be a light instead, walking where you tell us to go even when we can’t see the end. Thank you for the gift of Jesus Christ, and the salvation and forgiveness You’ve given us so that we may lead others to Your kingdom. May we not fear the unknown but rejoice that You have chosen to regard the humble to exalt Your name. Give us Your strength and peace even when we feel alone, and remind us that You are always there. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

A Message to the Bride of Christ: Repent!

Wars abroad and cultural wars at home—evil thrives and preys on the innocent. The sickness permeates everything until we wonder if there’s anything good left. It’s in schools, homes, businesses, media of all kinds, nations, and yes, even in the church. “There is so much evil, how can You stand it, Lord?” I wrote on October 7th in my journal. But then another written thought proceeded, “You see it all that it makes Your love that much more profound and magnificent. Your grace is beyond words, and I’m humbled by Your goodness, such goodness that can’t exist in this sinful world.” While everything seems dark and grim, Solomon’s words ring true, “There is nothing new under the sun.”

Paul wrote in Romans 15:4, “For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.” Going back to those “earlier times” we read about the birth of creation, and later, the birth of the nation of Israel—a people set apart by God and for God. But if you’ve read any of the Old Testament, it doesn’t take long for their love of the Lord God to turn to lust of other idols and gods. They run with the world and their faithfulness runs with it; more explicitly, they play the harlot. According to the Law, adultery was punishable by death, and so was the fate of Israel. Everything seemed dark and grim (sound familiar?), and often times, God is described as violent and wrathful in the Old Testament. While the wrath of God is real, it’s not without proper cause. His beloved had repeatedly committed adultery against Him (human terms, of course, to help us understand the significance of Israel’s sin). If you’ve ever been in that situation, consider how you felt and still feel—angry, bitter, vengeful, wrathful, broken. The Lord doesn’t mince words when He describes what will become of His beloved. But as I reread through those passages of Scripture, such as in Hosea, the love of God pierces my heart. In addition to a husband role, the Lord God also describes Himself as a father to Israel, guiding and leading them even when they chose to follow other gods:

“When Israel was a youth I loved him,

And out of Egypt I called My son.

The more they called them,

The more they went from them;

They kept sacrificing to the Baals

And burning incense to idols.

Yet it is I who taught Ephraim to walk,

I took them in My arms;

But they did not know that I healed them.

I led them with cords of a man, with bonds of love,

And I became to them as one who lifts the yoke from their jaws;

And I bent down and fed them.” Hosea 11:1-4 (NASB)

While Hosea 11 reminisces on the earlier state of Israel, most of the book focuses on Israel’s choices and how they lead to its destruction:

“Woe to them, for they have strayed from Me!

Destruction is theirs, for they have rebelled against Me!

I would redeem them, but they speak lies against Me.

And they do not cry to Me from their heart

When they wail on their beds;

For the sake of grain and new wine they assemble themselves,

They turn away from Me.” Hosea 7:13-14

What stands out to me in this passage, and as I read Hosea as a whole, is that even though Israel has carried out such wickedness and unfaithfulness, the Lord says “I would redeem them.” If only they would turn, all the wrath and anger would turn to forgiveness and compassion, like in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15).

To be clear, this post about Israel is nothing in relation to what’s happening in the Middle East. Rather, it’s to demonstrate God’s love in the midst of evil everywhere. To reiterate Paul’s words, what was written before is to help us now, so that we would have hope. Israel was set apart for God under the Old Covenant. But now we are under the New Covenant, ushered in by Christ’s sacrifice. The church is now the bride of Christ- God’s elect- that is set apart in this world for the Lord. Yet how often we act like the Israel of the Old Testament! How many idols do we worship? What does our faithfulness look like? Are we faithful at all? We are supposed to be armored up with the truth of God’s word, but we have to actually study and know it and live it for ourselves in order to wield it against the enemy and our flesh.  What distinguishes us from the world? Rather, we have let the world into the church for fear of being “(insert word here)phobic” or being deemed irrelevant when cultural relevancy is all the rage.

The Lord’s love is beyond our understanding, and I can confidently say that He is waiting for us, the church, to come back to Him. The problem is that many of us don’t even recognize that we’ve strayed. We fail to recognize our idols and that we follow a Sunday routine without growth or joy. We fail to question what is taught, and when we feel that tugging in our mind that says “That doesn’t seem right,” we ignore it thinking that the preacher must know what he’s talking about. STOP and LISTEN to the Holy Spirit! In truth, the Lord is angry with the church because it spews lies and appeases people’s emotions. Emotional hype is not spiritual growth—it just masquerades as growth until we realize how empty we are when things get difficult. We are accountable for what we know, and we are without excuse, just like Israel was. They had the Law written for them. They had prophets and priests to guide them. They had tangible miracles to save and provide for them. Yet, they abandoned the Lord. We have much more than they did since all the truth is at our fingertips. We have Christ as the ultimate sacrifice so that we aren’t required to bring sacrifices except to “present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship” (Romans 12:1). Paul continues in Romans 12:2, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

One of the greatest lies I’ve given in to is that I don’t have time. I don’t have time to sit down and write. I don’t have time to study God’s word. I have to get this and that done. I know I’m not alone. In this age, we fill up our lives with so much that sometimes it seems we barely have time to breathe. But the excuse of “not even time” is a lie—we choose to create chaos in our lives. I think we even welcome the chaos because it prevents us from truly examining ourselves individually and as a body of believers. Our flesh savors this, and it is a daily fight to push through, take the blinders off, and let ourselves be still with the Lord with all our sin and pain exposed. But only when we do this can we be healed. For the sake of our nation, and really the world, we must go through the pain of recognizing our failure as the body of Christ. But thanks be to God, it doesn’t stop there! Our repentance leads to God’s magnificent forgiveness and love that is beyond human comprehension. When we are right with Him, we can stand as soldiers declaring truth and thwarting the enemy:

“Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.” Ephesians 6:11-13

Let us learn from the past and become a faithful, and spiritually strong bride of Christ. Evil is all around us, but let us stand firm as a light to the nations and demonstrate God’s truth and love.

©Lauren Demuth

Forever Yours

Darkness descends upon my soul

as fear and self-hatred entrap me.

The earth opens revealing a pit

with an insatiable appetite.

Defeated, I fall to where all seems lost,

to where light fades into hopelessness.

 

Tears, anguish, death.

Each attempt to escape sends me

deeper, deeper into sorrow,

transforming me into someone unrecognizable.

“Oh God, I can’t believe You love me!

How wretched I am–a failure!”

 

How can there be hope for me,

so undeserving,

so unlovable,

so unrighteous?

The darkness twists lies into truth–

easier to cling to than forgiveness.

 

“Fight, fight! Don’t let the enemy win!”

A faint cry breaks through the darkness, almost incomprehensible.

“I love you! You are Mine! Even broken, you are beautiful!”

Music to my soul, I hear my Father’s voice

leading me out,

shining His light so I could come home.

 

How can it be

that He loves me so?

How can it be

that I’m worth it?

How can it be

that with all my mistakes, He still blesses me?

 

Father, Your grace astounds me;

Your love saves me;

Your Spirit moves me;

Your joy envelops me;

Your faithfulness lifts me;

Your sacrifice will keep me

forever Yours!

~~~

It’s been almost a year since I wrote my last poem “Faith Over Fear.” Thinking about writing this post was difficult because I struggled to keep that mindset of having faith over fear; rather, for awhile, I let fear grow inside me to such a point that I became lost to who I was. As a Christian of 23 years, this did not seem right. I was ashamed of my behavior, my thoughts, my hopelessness. There really isn’t a catalyst moment for why this began, but I can say it seemed to start last summer. I had just finished a school year that I didn’t expect to end well, but it did. I was proud of being able to accomplish a teaching job that I felt was impossible and out of my league. When I wrote “Faith Over Fear,” I had finally given things over to God, and even though my job was not a piece of cake, I saw people and situations with God’s perspective more than my own. I even fought to keep my job and worked harder towards obtaining a teaching license. So why did that change? I don’t fully know. All I know is that fear and anxiety gripped me to the point of dangerous thinking. Everyone could see it, which made it worse. I have never been one to hide my emotions, but in this case, it wasn’t just my job at stake, it was my testimony. How can I say I follow God when I let fear and doubt cripple me so badly. Where was my faith? It was depleted. There’s no sugar-coating it. I felt I could not succeed at what I was doing; therefore, I was a failure. It didn’t matter God opened doors; I was unwilling to let things go and trust Him. I said “I can’t!” and I loathed my own poster I put in my classroom, which read “Don’t say you can’t until you discover that you can!” My conviction was staring at me in the face until I couldn’t take it–I quit. I quit, thinking the job was the problem. It wasn’t. The fear and anxiety continued, but now I was truly a failure. I gave up! I have never given up before! And I had to face my decision. I had to face myself and the reality of it all. “You’re stupid. You’re worthless. Look what you did to your family. How could you?” Thoughts, lies, over and over multiple times a day, every day. Self-hatred reigned in me. I can forgive anyone else but myself. It was torture to the point where my thoughts went dark–places I never, ever thought my mind would go.

Now some may be thinking, “Come on, Lauren, this was just a job. It’s OK to fail!” But not to me. Failure has never been an option although I know how ridiculous that sounds. I know it’s true we learn from failure, but it was the idea that I gave up. I know God would have given me the strength and knowledge to keep going. I just didn’t want to. I didn’t believe I could do it. Those awful thoughts were relentless. I didn’t trust myself alone. But those who love me didn’t give up on me even when I gave up on myself. They loved me when I felt unlovable. They encouraged me, prayed for me, held me. Little by little the light came back in. I started applying for jobs–and oh how my pride wanted to take over. What started as “I would never apply for that” became “Oh, please call me back!” I finally got a job, and although it’s nothing I would have ever planned for myself, it’s good for me for now as I continue to grow in the Lord. My hope is to be able to teach Bible one day when the timing is right–truly, when I’m in the right place with God to teach again. Just those little steps forward helped me to gain confidence. I enjoy interacting with people and actually being a light to those around me. As many know, music can be powerful, and I love to sing. While everything was going on, I lost my joy of singing as I felt like a hypocrite to sing praises to God when I wasn’t trusting Him. But I started listening to the 2019 Wow CD and also to Lauren Daigle’s CD “How Can It Be” (I still listen to this every morning on my way to work). The songs awoke something inside me and as I started to sing, I started to believe the words, and essentially the truth, once again. There is still so much for me to work on, but I am beyond grateful and blessed to still be here, and God’s grace has been more than sufficient. His love is so immense that even when we don’t love ourselves it’s still there, waiting for us to accept it.

Although this post isn’t easy to write, it’s during these times where we can decide to stay in the pit or be transformed and grow. I mistakenly thought that the pit was my new home, but thanks be to God that He called me out and placed my feet on the solid Rock once again! I encourage you to reach out to your brothers and sisters in Christ. Everyone is going through something; it doesn’t matter if it seems big or small. Lift each other up and help to bring Christ’s love and light back into their lives. You never know the impact one word or gesture could make.

~~~

Side note: I didn’t realize until after I wrote the poem how much it resembled Psalm 30, which is also a great read. Check it out!

©Lauren Heiligenthal

Faith Over Fear

I close my eyes

and visualize

paths leading to my demise,

where fear leads me to wander.

 

I stand frozen

knowing I’ve been chosen

for something greater than

drinking the enemy’s poison.

 

The choice is mine:

To follow the Divine

on the straight and narrow defined,

the path leading to glory,

 

Or to walk down easy street

where, with every step, the truth retreats

to the back of my mind and defeat

becomes my story.

 

Countless times the choice seems clear,

yet too often I cater to fear,

who takes the joy from what I hold dear,

leaving me empty and broken.

 

If I had faith the size of a mustard seed,

I could move mountains from land to sea

and fulfill God’s call inside of me

to become who I’m meant to be.

 

The Lord knows every thought

and sees my river of tears.

The Creator calls out to me,

reminding me that He has conquered fear:

 

“Break forth, child of God, daughter of the King.

Shine bright, let your righteousness bring

the truth to the nations,

a fragrant offering.

 

Sing with all your soul

and let yourself become whole

as you take My hand and stroll

down the road to everlasting.

 

No fear can conquer Me,

and my Spirit is inside of thee

with the power to crush the enemy

underneath your feet.

 

Take hold of your shield

with faith you can wield

against weapons of defeat

and let yourself be healed.

 

Stand firm, soldier of the living God!

My Word is a double-edged sword;

My mouth is a flaming fire,

consuming all the enemy’s horde.

 

Fear Me above all else.

Have faith that you are victorious in Me,

and there will be no reason to doubt

That you will become who I created you to be.”

 

 

Written February 24, 2019

 

©Lauren Heiligenthal

Tending the Garden (Re-Post)

I read an article recently titled “The Bond Servant” written by Jack Kelley.  Its contents basically drive at the “once saved, always saved” teaching, which is nothing new but has seemed to grow. I’ve made it clear in previous posts that I disagree with this viewpoint. In fact, I believe it to be heretical. The plan for my next post is to tackle the article point by point. In order to do so properly, I will be taking more time to write my rebuttal. In the meantime, feel free to read Kelley’s article, comment on it on my blog, and/or ask questions that you would like answered. Below is a quote from the article that really provoked me to respond:

“Those who say that since we chose to become saved we can choose to walk away. They are applying human thinking to the equation, thinking it makes sense that it should work that way. But there is no Biblical support for that opinion. In fact, as we’ve seen, it’s not the case at all. As bond servants of the Lord we gave up our right to self determination when we surrendered our life to Him.”

There’s a lot to tackle in that one statement, but more will be coming. For this week’s post, I have re-posted “Tending the Garden,” written a year ago. It is especially fitting since I spent 6 hours pulling weeds today. As awful as that may sound, it was surprisingly refreshing. Not only did I get some quiet time in the spacious outdoors, but it was satisfying to make things beautiful again. Are our lives not also refreshed when we get rid of the ugly and choking things that seek to destroy us?

I hope you enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Growing up, I helped my mom with her yard work. She has always had a knack for implementing different landscaping ideas, planting beautiful gardens, and maintaining it all to perfection. Unfortunately, I still don’t have a green thumb. I suppose I didn’t pay attention as well as I should have while she worked. However, one thing I did learn well was pulling weeds and other encroaching, undesirable plants. The most important part about pulling weeds is that you never just remove what you can see; rather, it must be fully uprooted. Some weeds are easy to pull up. Just a slight pull and up it comes. Others need a little more attention with a shovel and some digging—and much-needed gloves for the prickly ones. If a person constantly checks his or her garden, the weeds don’t have much chance to grow, and there’s less effort involved. If the garden goes unchecked, the process can be overwhelming, and there’s more of a risk of missing or breaking off substantial roots. These roots can then wrap around the good plants, causing them to wither and die.

As Christians, we can look at our spiritual life as a garden. When we are just starting out, our garden is made up of little seedlings with the goal of bearing fruit for the kingdom of God. But it’s not a matter of if weeds will sprout, but when. Alongside our little saplings, we might notice a little weed here and there—little thoughts from the enemy that start to grow—“Don’t forget about that mistake you made yesterday”; “Do you really think you can change?”; “You’re worthless and will never make it as a Christian.” As Christians, we may still struggle with some sins and face new temptations. With some quick attention to these issues and asking God for forgiveness and help, those weeds—temptations/sins—can be uprooted and no more.

But what happens when we only check on the garden once in a while? We go out and discover larger weeds, maybe some prickly ones that make the task difficult. It’s tempting to just cut the tops off so we don’t have to see the ugliness. No harm, right? Now we can see our beautiful flowers again. But the danger still lies beneath: Roots. Roots can be parts of the past that linger and start to kill our spiritual fruit. To dig deeper means having to deal with the real issues, the underlying weaknesses that we are afraid to see. Maybe they are sins that we are too ashamed of: anger, sexual promiscuity, jealousy, self-harm, stealing, lying, homosexuality, etc. Maybe they are lies that have taken a hold of us, making it difficult to see any truth: unworthy, ugly, useless, could never be forgiven, [insert thought here]. The stronger the weed roots become, the weaker the good plant becomes, hindering it from bearing fruit.

What happens if we neglect our garden altogether? It will never grow to its potential. It will be overcome by the enemy. And eventually, it will die. What if it gets to the point that every good thing dies? Scripture refers to two options. First, if the person doesn’t desire to change or pursue God, the garden remains dead. That person has made the decision to walk away from God (Hebrews 6:4-6). However, with the second option, there is hope for the one who has lost his or her way but still desires to follow the Lord (Luke 15:11-32). What must be done? Repentance. Everything of the enemy must be uprooted and exposed, and the seeds of truth and righteousness must be replanted. Without a doubt, it will be painful, but God’s forgiveness, grace, and strength make it possible. Once it has been restored, the responsibility for maintaining the garden remains.

Being a Christian takes hard work. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that we must examine our spiritual lives and be honest with ourselves. Are we being attentive to the little weeds/thoughts/sins that are starting to take root? Do we have deep roots that need to be dug out and exposed to the light? Is our garden overrun by all sorts of dangers that seek to choke out anything good? We have been blessed with having the Holy Spirit within us if we have made that decision to follow Christ, but we still have to listen. We are responsible for what’s growing in our spiritual gardens, but the Lord is there if we call upon Him for help.

Consider Paul’s instructions to the Ephesians regarding their Christian walk:

“So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind, being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart; and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.” ~ Ephesians 3:17-24 NASB

Let’s gather our gloves and shovels and get to work!

 

©Lauren Heiligenthal

**Photo from https://www.pinterest.com/explore/garden-ideas/?lp=true

 

Runaway

As you stand in front of the looking glass,

Face yourself, Runaway.

Remove your mask;

Unveil your pain.

 

Open your eyes to see the demons surrounding you,

Poisoning your mind, sucking out truth.

Open your ears to hear My voice,

The gentle whisper amidst the noise.

 

Cut your baggage, Runaway;

Let the broken pieces fall.

Their weight has deformed you,

Kept you from standing tall.

 

Look beyond yourself and see

The lion prowling like a thief.

His appetite is never satisfied;

He’s ready to devour and has you in mind.

 

What can you do?

Where can you run,

When you’ve known the truth

But neglected the Son?

 

There’s only one path

That leads to life:

Stop running and call upon

The name that is Light!

 

Shed the darkness!

Yell at the fear!

Pick up your weapon,

Destroy the “you” in the mirror!

 

Repent, My daughter,

And run back to Me!

I will fight for you;

Your comfort, let Me be.

 

I will cover your shame,

Make you a new creation.

I will give you a new name,

A sign of salvation.

 

Come back, My beloved,

Though the enemy is strong.

My love is greater;

Come back to My song.

 

Close your eyes, Runaway,

As I place a new mirror before thee.

Now you must choose

The path you will seek:

To run to the world

Or come back to Me.

 

Open your eyes;

Who do you see?

 

©Lauren Heiligenthal

 

 

 

 

The Beloved Tree- The Lord’s Message of Faith

It has been almost a year since I was prompted by the Lord to write “The Beloved Tree” and post it on my blog. I was unsure about writing it at first because I had never completed a fictional short story before. I reread and reread and believed that it was just right. A week ago, I read the story again (after many months), and I discovered something that has impacted me greatly: The story the Lord helped me write was a prophecy about my own life.

About three years ago, I graduated with a Master’s in Biblical Studies. I should have been confident to go out and find a job related to this degree. I even had my thesis in the process of being published (which eventually happened), but my old enemy stepped in: fear. I had never had a job outside of working at my parents’ coffee house. It wasn’t because I was a snob or spoiled, but I used my scholarship money to help me get through my undergraduate degree so that I could fully focus on my studies. So I had very little work experience, and even though the Lord was with me, I doubted myself. At different times of my life, I heard from fellow peers and professors, “You should teach.” But I was afraid. I was afraid to speak in front of people. I was afraid of not having all the answers. I was afraid that I would say or do the wrong thing. I eventually found odd jobs, that operated at all hours of the day, to make some money. I now have inventory, test scoring, coffee-making experience, and honestly, I’m grateful for it. Even though I swerved from my destined path, the Lord allowed me to meet people that would help me get back on it. I gained experience and confidence with different tasks, just not teaching…yet.

I finally got to the point when I knew my family was going to move, and I needed to make a change in my life. I needed to become the me God made me to be. I applied for a tutoring position for English Language Learners in a public school district, and even though I thought that the job slipped through my fingers, the Lord opened the door, and I stepped through (scared out of my mind!). It was tough at first, but I persisted and began to view myself as a teacher—almost. When the next school year came around, I felt that I needed to do more, be more challenged, so the Lord gave me an opportunity that I did not feel equipped for: working as the 6th Grade Exceptional Teacher at the district middle school. Middle school, behavior issues, lots of attitude, numerous parent meetings and writing Individual Education Plans—all the things I’ve said “No” to in the past. The Lord opened this door, I walked through…and I dreaded it afterwards. Up until three weeks ago, my attitude was usually pessimistic, tears were my “friends,” and I wanted to quit on a few occasions. I can say with certainty that the Lord was not pleased with me, not because I dreaded the job, but because I was dreading my life due to lack of faith. This was His intended lesson—a lesson of faith that I’ve only grasped a few times in my life and let it slip away. When I got sick with bronchitis three weeks ago, I was forced to slow down. I chose to do personal devotions (something that had been lacking), and I was amazed that the Holy Spirit pointed things out to me that I didn’t notice before. My passion for the Lord was returning. Then it happened. I finally wrote a poem (Faith Over Fear). That may seem small, but it had been SO LONG since I’ve written much of anything. Writing has always been my special way of conversing with the Lord. Then that night I prayed. In truth, I have a tendency to fall asleep when I pray in bed, but this time, it was raw and real. My passion was returning, as I often prayed it would. I could hear the Lord again, and this time tears were welcomed as they reflected the cleansing of my heart.

Since then, the Lord has given me love for those tough students that I couldn’t reach before. I have experienced such joy that it’s been so hard to contain. My life has been renewed! Now I have become a teacher. Become. My word for this year and the cry of my heart, to be on the path that God has carved out for me.

Last week I read the story the Lord had me write last year, as the third year since I graduated is approaching. I realized that not only was I (like the beloved tree) on the path of being cut off from God’s perfect will for me due to clinging to fear, but He also showed me the hope that overcoming fear would allow me to finally bear fruit for Him.

I can’t wait for what’s next!

_____________________________________________________________________________

The Beloved Tree- originally published 4/14/18

“Chop it down!” the landowner decidedly shouted as he stared at his beloved apple tree. If one didn’t know him, he might think the landowner to be cruel and unjust. In truth, those three words brought him immense agony. This was no ordinary tree. The landowner himself planted the seed that would become the fame of his orchard. He nurtured, fertilized, and pruned it when necessary. The fruit was incomparable to anything else his land produced. Beyond monetary value, it was the landowner’s pride and joy. From its seeds, his land was riddled with generations from his prized tree. But then one year the beloved tree bore no fruit. The landowner was puzzled and concerned. Was there a disease? An infestation? Surely it will produce next year, he thought. After three years, the tree remained barren, a skeletal centerpiece that had once outshone all the rest in his orchard.

The landowner’s son listened in anguish to his father’s cry. He was there when his father planted the seed; it seemed so small and insignificant. But he knew and believed in his father’s vision. “This tree will bear fruit that will last for generations,” he had declared. After years of careful preparation, the apple tree began to fulfill this vision. As the son reflected on these memories, he looked around at all the evidence around him. Trees resembling the beloved apple tree were flourishing as far as the eye could see. He loved each one, yet his soul was stirred for the one that had forgotten its purpose. With his heart still filled with hope, he ran with determination to his father.

“Wait! Don’t chop it down yet, Father!” the son cried as the ax was prepared to make its incurable mark.

“Son, I have waited for three years. Each year there has been no fruit. You cannot expect me to leave something that wishes to be barren in my orchard. It uses up the nutrients that my other trees should have.”

The son tenderly replied, “Your words are true and just. I only ask this of you. Let this tree stand one more year. I will take sole responsibility for its care. Just as you cared for it as a sapling, I will nurture, fertilize, and prune it. If it wishes to bear fruit, so be it. If it chooses to be barren, we will cut it down next year.”

The father looked at his son with all the love in his heart and declared, “So be it!”

Although it may sound strange to some, the son understood the soul of each tree; his life was connected to theirs. He knew that in the depths of this tree there was a will to fulfill its purpose. The son dug around the tree and filled the ground with the best fertilizer, and he cut off the dead branches where insects had decided to take up residence. The tree’s appearance changed as piles of dead limbs were hauled away for firewood, but the son didn’t mind the change. In fact, he welcomed it; all that was dead was gone. What remained brought him hope!

Then the son did something that, if anyone was watching, seemed a bit bizarre. He slowly climbed the tree, found the perfect sitting spot, and began speaking to it.

“Beloved apple tree, did you know that my father picked you out as a seed? Oh, indeed, he looked at other seeds, but you were the one who could fulfill his vision. When he looked at you in his hand, he didn’t just see one tree but generations that would bear fruit for him.”

The son climbed to the top to show the tree all its descendants. For the first time in years, the tree gave a slight rustle of its leaves, its way of speaking to the son. The son took this as a good sign and continued,

“It is not your time to stop producing, beloved tree. Why have you stopped? Where has your faithfulness gone? If you continue to remain dormant, we will have to get rid of you forever. Don’t you want to live?” The tree felt ashamed and stayed silent.

Every day for a year, the son nurtured the apple tree and reminded it of its purpose. While all the other trees flourished, the beloved apple tree still bore no fruit. The son was saddened by the tree’s choice. In three days, he and his father would have to chop it down.

The morning of that fateful day arrived, and a mighty gale arose. The wind howled and rain plastered the windows. No one spoke as the storm provided a fitting description of what they felt in their hearts. When the storm had passed, the father and son made their way to the beloved tree. The son himself grabbed the ax and just as he was about to swing, a ray of light sneaked between the blackened clouds. As his eyes rested upon the alighted view, the son began to jump for joy; for there, on the beloved tree, was a single apple—the first of many.

~~~

Inspired by Jesus’ parable in Luke 13:6-9:

“‘A man had a fig tree which had been planted in his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it and did not find any. And he said to the vineyard-keeper, ‘Behold, for three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree without finding any. Cut it down! Why does it even use up the ground?’ ‘And he answered and said to him, ‘Let it alone, sir, for this year too, until I dig around it and put in fertilizer; and if it bears fruit next year, fine; but if not, cut it down.’”  (NASB)

 

©Lauren Heiligenthal

 

 

Tending the Garden

Growing up, I helped my mom with her yard work. She has always had a knack for implementing different landscaping ideas, planting beautiful gardens, and maintaining it all to perfection. Unfortunately, I still don’t have a green thumb. I suppose I didn’t pay attention as well as I should have while she worked. However, one thing I did learn well was pulling weeds and other encroaching, undesirable plants. The most important part about pulling weeds is that you never just remove what you can see; rather, it must be fully uprooted. Some weeds are easy to pull up. Just a slight pull and up it comes. Others need a little more attention with a shovel and some digging—and much-needed gloves for the prickly ones. If a person constantly checks his or her garden, the weeds don’t have much chance to grow, and there’s less effort involved. If the garden goes unchecked, the process can be overwhelming, and there’s more of a risk of missing or breaking off substantial roots. These roots can then wrap around the good plants, causing them to wither and die.

As Christians, we can look at our spiritual life as a garden. When we are just starting out, our garden is made up of little seedlings with the goal of bearing fruit for the kingdom of God. But it’s not a matter of if weeds will sprout, but when. Alongside our little saplings, we might notice a little weed here and there—little thoughts from the enemy that start to grow—“Don’t forget about that mistake you made yesterday”; “Do you really think you can change?”; “You’re worthless and will never make it as a Christian.” As Christians, we may still struggle with some sins and face new temptations. With some quick attention to these issues and asking God for forgiveness and help, those weeds—temptations/sins—can be uprooted and no more.

But what happens when we only check on the garden once in a while? We go out and discover larger weeds, maybe some prickly ones that make the task difficult. It’s tempting to just cut the tops off so we don’t have to see the ugliness. No harm, right? Now we can see our beautiful flowers again. But the danger still lies beneath: Roots. Roots can be parts of the past that linger and start to kill our spiritual fruit. To dig deeper means having to deal with the real issues, the underlying weaknesses that we are afraid to see. Maybe they are sins that we are too ashamed of: anger, sexual promiscuity, jealousy, self-harm, stealing, lying, homosexuality, etc. Maybe they are lies that have taken a hold of us, making it unable to see any truth: unworthy, ugly, useless, could never be forgiven, [insert thought here]. The stronger the weed roots become, the weaker the good plant becomes, hindering it from bearing fruit.

What happens if we neglect our garden altogether? It will never grow to its potential. It will be overcome by the enemy. And eventually, it will die. What if it gets to the point that every good thing dies? Scripture refers to two options. First, if the person doesn’t desire to change or pursue God, the garden remains dead. That person has made the decision to walk away from God (Hebrews 6:4-6). However, with the second option, there is hope for the one who has lost his or her way but still desires to follow the Lord (Luke 15:11-32). What must be done? Repentance. Everything of the enemy must be uprooted and exposed, and the seeds of truth and righteousness must be replanted. Without a doubt, it will be painful, but God’s forgiveness, grace, and strength make it possible. Once it has been restored, the responsibility for maintaining the garden remains.

Being a Christian takes hard work. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that we must examine our spiritual lives and be honest with ourselves. Are we being attentive to the little weeds/thoughts/sins that are starting to take root? Do we have deep roots that need to be dug out and exposed to the light? Is our garden overrun by all sorts of dangers that seek to choke out anything good? We have been blessed with having the Holy Spirit within us if we have made that decision to follow Christ, but we still have to listen. We are responsible for what’s growing in our spiritual gardens, but the Lord is there if we call upon Him for help.

Consider Paul’s instructions to the Ephesians regarding their Christian walk:

“So this I say, and affirm together with the Lord, that you walk no longer just as the Gentiles also walk, in the futility of their mind, being darkened in their understanding, excluded from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, because of the hardness of their heart; and they, having become callous, have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness. But you did not learn Christ in this way, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.” ~ Ephesians 3:17-24 NASB

Let’s gather our gloves and shovels and get to work!

 

©Lauren Heiligenthal

**Photo from https://www.pinterest.com/explore/garden-ideas/?lp=true

 

The Simple Reason Why I Am Not a Premillennialist

“But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.  For the coming of the Son of Man will be just like the days of Noah. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and they did not understand until the flood came and took them all away; so will the coming of the Son of Man be. Then there will be two men in the field; one will be taken and one will be left. Two women will be grinding at the mill; one will be taken and one will be left.

“Therefore be on the alert, for you do not know which day your Lord is coming. But be sure of this, that if the head of the house had known at what time of the night the thief was coming, he would have been on the alert and would not have allowed his house to be broken into. For this reason you also must be ready; for the Son of Man is coming at an hour when you do not think He will.

“Who then is the faithful and sensible slave whom his master put in charge of his household to give them their food at the proper time? Blessed is that slave whom his master finds so doing when he comes. Truly I say to you that he will put him in charge of all his possessions. But if that evil slave says in his heart, ‘My master is not coming for a long time,’ and begins to beat his fellow slaves and eat and drink with drunkards; the master of that slave will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour which he does not know, and will cut him in pieces and assign him a place with the hypocrites; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”

~ Matthew 24:36-51 NASB

What is the main point of what Jesus is saying to His disciples? Be ready! No one knows when the Father will have Jesus return. There was a sense of urgency to be on the alert when Jesus was still on the earth, which continued to permeate throughout New Testament teaching and even to this day. My goal with this post is not to pick apart premillennialism, but to simply point out that the teaching regarding seven years of tribulation, where people can have a “second chance” to come to Christ, violates Scripture. Why does it violate Scripture? Because even though people may have missed the first rapture, they will then know that Jesus will return again within seven years. They will have exactly that time to “make things right.” If that’s the case, then why not live like the world now if we are going to get another chance later? Is there really a sense of urgency? Better yet, have we forgotten that we’re living our second chance right now?

Before the Law there was no prescriptive way to be made right before God. This is why Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are held in high esteem. They had no Law, yet they acted in faith and did instinctively the things that would become Law. God gave Moses and His people the Law in order to set themselves apart and be right with Him. It was rigid and full of regulations. We read it now and wonder how it was even possible to fulfill. That’s the point; it couldn’t be fulfilled. This was the first chance—until Jesus.

Jesus’ sacrifice became the second and ultimate chance. Through His sacrifice we are no longer bound by the rigidity of the Law. We no longer have to offer sacrifices or perform cleansing rituals. We have been baptized with Him and will be resurrected to eternal life because of His grace and mercy. These things cannot be taken lightly, which is why Jesus spends much time talking about being ready and on the alert. Do we want to be like the slave who is found doing what his master desires, or do we want to be like the evil slave who thinks he can do whatever he wants because his master won’t be back for awhile?

A little over seven years ago, I was admonished by close Christian friends (now family) that my spiritual house was not in order. I was encouraged to make myself ready. I have been a Christian since I was seven years old, yet I still needed to be shown that my spiritual life needed a change. Even though we accept Christ and claim to be Christians, we still need to do spiritual cleaning. Just like our actual homes, dust gathers and things that seem gross and terrible at first become part of the norm. There may be an eyesore in our living room, but we wouldn’t notice it because it has become part of our lives. This can also be applied to our spiritual houses. In truth, we can become complacent with behaviors and thoughts that used to convict us, and we may not even realize it until someone else has the right kind of love to point it out. As Paul clearly shares with the Corinthians, we are the temple of the Holy Spirit and should act accordingly:

“Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” ~ 1 Corinthians 6:18-20 NASB

We have been given a gracious, wonderful second chance at eternal life. Let us do our best to live according to God’s will for our lives and in such a way that others will want to follow God now.

 

©Lauren Heiligenthal

Do Not Be Double-Minded

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind. For that man ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord, being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” ~ James 1:5-8 (NASB)

The Word of God is an encourager, a teacher, a guide. It is also an admonisher for the body of believers. Sometimes we want to look past words like “judgment,” or in this case, “double-minded” because we think it’s talking about other people in the world, mainly unbelievers. But the Scriptures weren’t written for the world. They were written for the followers of God (e.g., 1 Cor. 10). Each letter written in the NT was for the church. Within those letters are topics that the church no longer wants to tackle because of our culture’s stance on political correctness. We tread lightly when it comes to homosexuality. We dismiss discussions of theistic evolution. We don’t even dare consider that Scripture talks about the father/husband being the head of the household. We reinterpret Scripture to accommodate the world’s understanding of morality. And we have convinced ourselves that these interpretations are true, or even worse, that we cannot know what truth is.

According to the Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament: Based on Semantic Domains, to be double-minded (δίψυχος) is to be “uncertain of the truth of something.”[1] In the passage above, James is encouraging the scattered Jewish Christians to not doubt when asking the Lord for wisdom. He equates lack of faith with someone who is double-minded. The Dictionary of Bible Themes describes double-mindedness as being “Indicative of insincerity and hypocrisy. God requires wholeheartedness and sincerity from all people, both in their dealings with others and in their worship of him.”[2] James uses this term again in James 4:

“You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose: ‘He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us’? But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, ‘God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” (vv. 4-8, emphasis added)

Even in the book of Revelation, John is asked to write messages to the seven churches, one of them being Laodicea. In Christ’s words to the church, He describes the believers as being lukewarm:

“‘I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot.  So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth. Because you say, ‘I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,’ and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. He who overcomes, I will grant to him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’”  (Revelation 3:15-22, emphasis added)

James and John (or rather Christ in the context) make it clear that there are two choices: to have faith in God and submit to Him or to doubt God and be friends with the world. It seems straightforward with no room for gray areas.

~~~

So why did Peter, Paul, John, and James write some (what we might think are) harsh words to the church? Were they being judgmental? In a way, yes. Why? Because the church is called to righteousness. Because the church needs discipline. Because we wear the name of Christ.

In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul calls out the Corinthian body of believers because they let sin continue among them. Someone had taken his father’s wife, which was something that Paul had not even heard of among the Gentiles, the non-believers. Paul says to the church, “You have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst” (v. 2). But how can Paul be so harsh? Aren’t we supposed to love and accept people even when they sin? Paul makes his point clear in vv. 9-13:

“I wrote you in my letter not to associate with immoral people; I did not at all mean with the immoral people of this world, or with the covetous and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to go out of the world. But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? But those who are outside, God judges. Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.” (emphasis added)

We are all guilty of sinning, but should we willfully continue to sin? The Corinthians knew what was going on, but they said or did nothing. They let it continue, which means that the one who was guilty of such an act was unrepentant. Hebrews 10:26-31 also addresses this issue to Jewish Christians:

“For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a terrifying expectation of judgment and the fury of a fire which will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the Law of Moses dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace? For we know Him who said, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay.’ And again, ‘The Lord will judge His people.’ It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”

Some people argue that this passage is talking about people who haven’t really accepted Christ. However, to reiterate what I said in the beginning, the NT letters were written to believers. Hebrews is written to a Jewish Christian audience. In verses 19-25 the author (I believe to be Paul) addresses his audience with the inclusive pronoun “we” while talking about holding “fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful (v. 23).” He continues to use “we” in the beginning of v. 26 which indicates that he is talking about Christians. The author further clarifies the statement about sinning willfully by adding, “…after receiving the knowledge of the truth…” So we know that the author is talking about Christians who have knowledge of the truth, and yet willfully continue to sin. What is the outcome for such a person? A brief scolding? Give him/her a hug because all we should do is demonstrate acceptance? The text is clear that such a person has regarded the blood of Christ’s sacrifice to be unclean. He/she has spit in Christ’s face along with the gifts of salvation and grace. This person faces a great judgment (vv. 30-31).

We as Christians are held responsible for what we know. The Word of God has been preserved for us. Do we have faith that what it says is true? If we do not understand something, are we willing to ask God in faith for wisdom and knowledge of His truth? And when we ask, are we willing to see the truth even if it may go against our culture or current beliefs? Paul (when he was Saul) had to face the truth that his zeal for God was not acted out in the right way. He believed that persecuting Christians was right because he loved God. But when Jesus appeared to him, Paul found out he was really persecuting God. Peter doubted while walking on water. He denied Jesus three times. He even excluded Gentile Christians for a time having been influenced by other Jews, and he had to be rebuked by Paul. These men confessed their sins and turned away from them. They wrote to the church having experienced hardships themselves. They wrote as fathers/leaders who sought to help their spiritual children bear fruit for God’s kingdom. The path to righteousness takes faith and hard work as we war against our flesh daily. We will stumble at times. We will be tempted and even persecuted. But we have each other for encouragement and admonition. We cannot allow the church to become synonymous with the world no matter how much we might be hated. Instead of being unsure about truth like double-minded people, let us ask God in faith for wisdom and understanding. If we seek Him with all of our hearts, He will be faithful to lead us.

 

©Lauren Heiligenthal

 

Footnotes:

[1] Johannes P. Louw and Eugene Albert Nida, Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament: Based on Semantic Domains (New York: United Bible Societies, 1996), 370.

[2] Martin H. Manser, Dictionary of Bible Themes: The Accessible and Comprehensive Tool for Topical Studies (London: Martin Manser, 2009).