Author: Lauren (Heiligenthal) Demuth

Our God Is Always Righteous

I posted the following on Facebook earlier today after reading a couple of ridiculous (in my opinion, heretical) articles about how the violence in the OT either didn’t happen or God didn’t command Israel to do the things they did. I wrote a short response (and plan to add to it) sharing some thoughts and Scriptures:

My heart has been burning lately with all these teachings about how violence in the OT was wrong. That God didn’t really tell the Israelites to kill men, women, and children. That such stories are horribly exaggerated. That God wasn’t really like this. These statements are false. People that teach these things are projecting their own cultural views on what should and shouldn’t happen in the world. They deny that the OT prophets, priests, and kings actually heard from God. They don’t like the idea of a wrathful God, but He is wrathful and just. He has every right to be wrathful. We brought sin into this world and the Father cannot look upon sin. This is the beauty of being saved by grace through Christ. However, do you think His wrath goes away for people who reject Him (like the Canaanites)?

Consider what Jesus says in Matthew 11:20-24, “Then He began to denounce the cities in which most of His miracles were done, because they did not repent. ‘Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the miracles had occurred in Tyre and Sidon which occurred in you, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. Nevertheless I say to you, it will be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon in the day of judgment than for you. And you, Capernaum, will not be exalted to heaven, will you? You will descend to Hades; for if the miracles had occurred in Sodom which occurred in you, it would have remained to this day. Nevertheless I say to you that it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment, than for you.'” You know that these cities of old were destroyed because of their wickedness. What does that tell you about these first century cities who rejected Christ and didn’t repent? He’s clearly stating that their judgment will be severe. Yes, we have been given grace and mercy (for those who have accepted Christ), and we should be eternally grateful. We should also remember that there is only ONE God who is above all other gods. And we should not be ashamed to defend His righteous acts because they are righteous indeed. He not only commanded Israel to destroy people, but because of their own lack of repentance, they themselves were led into exile. No one is immune to God’s justice. (Also, take note that those who helped the Israelites (i.e., Rahab) and joined Israel were not destroyed.)

Ultimately, my point is this: Be wary of false teachers. They sound intelligent (sort of), they claim to have a bunch of facts, and they teach what is currently culturally acceptable, but it’s all tickling of the ears. One such teacher (Rob Bell) was so arrogant to say that the writers of the OT had a different level of consciousness than we do now. He writes in an article “What is the Bible?” Part 13: “Where did you get this idea that there’s anything wrong in these stories? You got this idea that there’s a better, more civilized way because you do not share that dominant consciousness. Whether it’s love or peace or justice or compassion-there is some way, some lens, some filter that you run things through that tells you that killing lots of people is wrong and any god who commands such a thing should be avoided at all costs. How did you get this way? How in the world did the world produce you? Humanity has matured, evolved, and grown in consciousness since the time theses stories were told…Your ability to be turned off by these stories is evidence of growth and maturing consciousness! Do you get this? The thing in these stories that makes you the most pissed off and disillusioned and wondering why we should even be reading these stories is itself a prime example of our capacity to grow and move on and transcend earlier stages of consciousness.”

So the fact that we don’t buy into the idea of God asking the Israelites to kill someone (which is basically saying that the Bible is false) shows how we’ve evolved? It doesn’t matter that God spoke directly to people (and He still does). It doesn’t matter that these people saw more miracles than we’ve seen. According to Rob Bell and others, we’re more civilized and better than these tribal people. Yet I can’t help but reflect on what Jesus told those first century cities and wonder what He would say (is saying) to us, His body, who rejects His Word that was given to warn and teach us.

“All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.”- 2 Timothy 3:16

“For if we go on sinning willfully after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a terrifying expectation of judgment and the fury of a fire which will consume the adversaries. Anyone who has set aside the Law of Moses dies without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. How much severer punishment do you think he will deserve who has trampled under foot the Son of God, and has regarded as unclean the blood of the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has insulted the Spirit of grace? For we know Him who said, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay.’ And again, ‘The Lord will judge His people.’ It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”- Hebrews 10:26-31

“For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”- Romans 15:4

“For I do not want you to be unaware, brethren, that our fathers were all under the cloud and all passed through the sea; and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea; and all ate the same spiritual food; and all drank the same spiritual drink, for they were drinking from a spiritual rock which followed them; and the rock was Christ. Nevertheless, with most of them God was not well-pleased; for they were laid low in the wilderness. Now these things happened as examples for us, so that we would not crave evil things as they also craved. Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written, ‘The people sat down to eat and drink, and stood up to play.’ Nor let us act immorally, as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in one day. Nor let us try the Lord, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the serpents. Nor grumble, as some of them did, and were destroyed by the destroyer. Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.”- 1 Corinthians 10:1-12

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Holding Innocence

Children are quite an amazing gift. I mentioned in my first post (“Faith Like a Child”) that my best friends have twins. They are 19 months old now and as exploratory as ever. Sometimes they can try my patience, but then there are those serene moments that I don’t want to end. A couple of times this week I had the joy of holding each boy after he woke up from his nap. One twin one day, the other twin another day. After waking up, each one discovered that he was still tired. So I rocked him back to sleep. It was such a wonderful feeling knowing that he wanted me to hold him, that he felt comfortable in my arms. I loved looking at his little face and seeing him at peace. I enjoyed feeling his breathing (and sometimes hearing a snore or two). No matter what has been going on in my life lately, it didn’t matter at that moment. With everything going in the world—ISIS, Ebola, Russia and Ukraine, the moral depravity of our nation—this was a moment to remember the beauty of innocence.

I feel so blessed to hold these children when I know the innocence of children around the world is being shattered. How can humanity justify slaughtering such a precious gift, whether it’s abortion, decapitation by a terrorist, or indoctrinating them to fight for evil? Such people are certainly not justified before God (unless they ask for forgiveness). Consider what Jesus says in Luke 18:15-17,

“And they were bringing even their babies to Him so that He would touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they began rebuking them. But Jesus called for them, saying, ‘Permit the children to come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.’”

In Matthew 18:1-7, 10 Jesus teaches His disciples a similar, but more detailed, message:

“At that time the disciples came to Jesus and said, ‘Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?’ And He called a child to Himself and set him before them, and said, ‘Truly I say to you, unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me; but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes! …See that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that their angels in heaven continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven.’”

As you can read, children are important to God, and Christ uses them as examples of how we should live.

It is also the responsibility of parents and/or guardians to train their children in the wisdom of God and teach them about His wondrous works. Psalm 78:5-8 says,

“For He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which He commanded our fathers that they should teach them to their children, that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, that they may arise and tell them to their children, that they should put their confidence in God and not forget the works of God, but keep His commandments,  and not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation that did not prepare its heart and whose spirit was not faithful to God.”

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Additionally, Solomon gives his son a great piece of advice in Proverbs 3:11-12, “My son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord or loathe His reproof, for whom the Lord loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.”

Discipline is not only important for children, but for Christians of all ages. This citation from Proverbs is repeated in Hebrews 12:5-6. Paul (this is who I believe wrote Hebrews) continues to explain the necessity of discipline in vv. 7-11. He not only provides insight into how children ought to be disciplined (particularly by their fathers in this context), but how we should receive discipline from the Lord:

“It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, so that we may share His holiness.  All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.”

As most parents/guardians will attest, disciplining a child is never fun. But we know it’s necessary in order to instill obedience and shape godly character. Our intentions are for good as are the Father’s intentions for our lives. The need for discipline is even more critical as immorality is increasingly becoming the norm in society. Yet even amidst such depravity, we can still have hope in the Lord and experience joy in His children who bring the light of innocence into this dark world.

Children teach us to have humility and complete trust before the Father. They demonstrate the importance of discipline in our lives. And, important for me, they teach us how to slow down and appreciate just being with one another.

As I slowly rock a baby to sleep, I can experience peace in a world of chaos.

~~~

Innocence (Originally written October 1-2, 2014)

As you lay your head upon my chest

and gently fall asleep,

I can’t help but hold you tight

and feel a sense of peace.

 

Such tiny features

so beautifully created,

I can’t fathom how your life

could ever be debated.

 

You bring immense joy

into a world full of pain—

a shining light,

growing brighter every day.

 

A gift from God,

you bring hope into my life,

teaching me how to have faith

and to let go of strife.

 

In this depraved world

you outshine the rest,

possessing what most have lost:

God’s blessing of pure innocence.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

 

 

Live Like Christ

Do you ever have moments when your mind recalls past mistakes and failures? I do. On the flip side, there are times when I’ll remember good things about myself and then wonder if they still exist. I know I’ve changed over these past few years, and I know that some people don’t understand that the change has been for the better. Sometimes we have to leave what we know behind and move forward. It’s not necessarily because our lives are horrible, but rather, God has called us to do something else, to be someone else.

In the midst of change in my life, I was in school most of the time. I’m grateful for my education, and I know that God called me to finish my degrees. However, I’ve learned that a person needs to have solid faith before starting a Christian education (or any education). I know this sounds strange. You would think such an education would help build up my faith. Instead, my faith was tested. There were many times when Scripture and classroom teaching were not in sync. I started to challenge what I was taught, and it was not always welcomed by faculty. I had to make a choice: Defend truth or believe everything I was taught. I’ve been trying to defend truth ever since. There were times when it was difficult to go to school, but I was reminded that there’s always something to learn even if I don’t agree with it. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not perfect. I’m still learning and working on my areas of struggle. As a result, I wrote a poem a few months ago to help me figure out my thoughts. Maybe you can relate.

Live Like Christ (originally written March 13, 2014)

My mind keeps wandering,

reminiscing about the past.

I get drawn in too deep

with no way to escape.

 

I remember all my mistakes,

and when I was more courageous.

I let myself become someone I wasn’t,

and I discarded too much of who I was.

 

I used to sing proud

and comfort a friend in need.

I fought for Your truth,

but now I’m caught between truth and theology.

 

Father, help me dig through my sin and fear

and find who I’m supposed to be.

I want to live,

live like Christ.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Dichotomy

Are you influenced by the world? I’m not sure I’d believe you if your answer is “No.” We’re all part of a culture (or many cultures) from the time we’re born. We don’t realize how much it becomes ingrained in us until we are confronted with other cultures. What may be acceptable in my culture may not be acceptable in yours. Scripture is a whole different standard. It rises above culture even though God can work within it. As Christians we’re taught to be in the world but not of it. Easier said than done. We’re called to live differently even though our culture may not understand. We stand against the world’s norms only to be attacked for not being tolerant. We’re called to fight our flesh and walk in the Spirit. As much as I’ve grown in the Lord over the years, I still struggle with fear and worry. I didn’t realize how much I still think like the American culture until recently. God has demonstrated His power and provision abundantly in my life, yet I still falter. I’m sure I’m not alone. From what I’ve observed through my Christian education, current Christianity (at least from an American perspective) is not that different from the world…and this is a problem. We claim the supremacy and power of God while trying to do everything on our own. We follow the cultural routine of going to school, getting a job, making money, etc. without even consulting God because we’re taught that these actions are the right, Christian things to do. We’re also inspired when we read about the disciples because they dropped everything to follow Christ. They literally left their livelihoods. Sometimes they were ordered by Christ to take money and extra clothing with them on their journeys whereas other times they were supposed to be provided for by the people they ministered to. As disciples of Christ, are we willing to follow God like this? To live in constant trust that the Lord takes care of His children? I don’t know about you, but it’s the world in me that keeps me from such trust…and it’s my job to kick it out. I wrote a short poem to help me sort through all of these thoughts.

The World in Me (originally written September 9, 2014)

Striving to follow God,

I’m being held back by my own mind.

I thought I purged the world from within,

but there’s still residue.

 

I never realized how powerful culture can be

until I started to fight it.

How ingrained are my ways of thinking.

How set are the priorities of the world.

 

I focus on what’s temporary instead of the eternal.

I place what I need to accomplish above others.

Instead of following the wisdom of the world,

I ought to be a fool for Christ:

 

Ministry is greater than monetary gain.

Selflessness demonstrates true love.

Forgiveness is more powerful than bitterness.

Trusting what is unseen results in the miraculous.

 

The world does not understand these things,

but the Spirit does.

It’s time to stop living with this dichotomy

and vanquish the world in me.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

A Tribute to the Persecuted and Slain

You told the Father you’d follow His will.

You accepted His Son without hesitancy.

You carried your cross even unto the gates of hell,

But the enemy did not prevail.

 

Tortured, battered, beheaded

For the sake of His name,

You have stood for righteousness

In a world where evil reigns.

 

You’ve demonstrated the cost of discipleship

By laying down your life.

Death was more honorable than saying,

“I forsake Jesus Christ.”

 

I hear your stories, and I weep for you.

How can humanity be so cruel?

Yet even with such malicious intent,

Your sacrifice is beautiful.

 

It is beautiful to the One who welcomes you home,

To Him who says, “I will avenge!”

It is beautiful to the Son who understands your pain,

To Him who calls you servant, child, and friend.

 

You have placed your feet on the Solid Rock

When all around you is quicksand.

Your resilience in the midst of adversity

Has challenged the Body to stand.

 

We will remember you

And your commitment to the King.

May we be willing to live like you,

Giving up everything.

 

This world is not our home.

It only reaps anger, hatred, and fear.

Our destination is eternity

Where the Lord heals every pain, wipes every tear.

 

To all of God’s people, stand firm and be ready

For the enemy shows no restraint.

But whatever the cost may be,

Let us stand strong with the persecuted and slain.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Daughters of the Heavenly Father

A few years ago I had a friend who was a daddy’s girl. From what I observed, she and her father seemed to understand each other well and enjoy one another’s company. Then all of a sudden her father failed her family in a big way. I knew she was devastated. The life she knew was shattered, and I tried my best to be there for her even though I couldn’t relate. It seemed like the idea of a good, heavenly Father began to fade after this moment in her life.

Maybe you have a similar story of your own. Maybe your father or a father figure in your life let you down, and it’s hard to comprehend a loving, heavenly Father. I believe one of the hardest lessons to learn in life is that people will let us down. Sometimes they’ll leave scars. Sometimes their words and actions resound in our hearts and minds to the point that we begin to trust no one. However, we should always be able to have confidence in our Father.

For some, it might be hard to trust the Father because of His relationship with Jesus. You might be thinking, “The Father sacrificed His only Son! How could He truly love Jesus?” We must remember two things when reflecting on this relationship. First, the Father sacrificed His Son in order to save us. This was the only way. In Scripture, sacrifices had to be perfect, and it had to mean something to the one offering the sacrifice. Jesus was (and still is) perfect in every way. He was/is God. He is a part of the Father (“I and the Father are one”- John 10:22), which means that this sacrifice hurt the Father tremendously. The second thing to remember is that Jesus willingly sacrificed Himself. Consider John 10:14-15 where Jesus says, “I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.” He continues these thoughts in vv. 17-18, “For this reason the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life so that I may take it again. No one has taken it away from Me, but I lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This commandment I received from My Father.” Jesus trusted the Father even knowing that His sacrifice was coming. His reason for dying, His sheep (us), outweighed the pain of death. I say all of this to encourage you that everything the Father does is out of love. Our earthly fathers make mistakes. Sometimes they’re there for us and try really hard. Other times they’re non-existent. But our heavenly Father is ALWAYS there, and ALWAYS loves. We just have to be willing to trust Him and follow Him down the path He has designed for us.

I realize that some of you may have great fathers, but maybe there have been other men in your life that have let you down. Maybe you’ve entered relationships that have left you feeling hurt and hopeless, and the idea of turning to your heavenly Father is not appealing because of this hurt. Consider Jesus’ interaction with the Samaritan woman in John 4. Verses 6 and 8 explain that Jesus is weary from his journey from Judea to Samaria, and His disciples go into the city while Jesus rests at Jacob’s well. During this time a Samaritan woman comes to draw water (v. 7). Now we know that nothing is a coincidence when it comes to Jesus meeting people. Even though the woman comes to draw water, Jesus engages in conversation with her first (v. 7). This was a big deal not only because He spoke with a woman alone, but Jews didn’t interact with Samaritans (v. 9). Despite this fact, Jesus simply asks her for a drink. The Samaritan woman is confused and asks why He chooses to talk with a Samaritan woman since He is a Jew. Right from the start Jesus turns a simple request for water into an invitation to eternal life: “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water” (v. 10). Again, the woman seems to be confused by what Jesus tells her and about who He is (vv. 11-12). Jesus continues His salvation message in vv. 13-14: “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”

In v. 15 the woman still doesn’t seem to understand what Jesus is telling her. She still thinks in terms of her physical thirst. Jesus then says, “Go, call your husband and come here” (v. 16). This seems random at first, but Jesus knows what He’s doing. The woman replies, “I have no husband” (v. 17) after which Jesus confirms that this is true because she’s already had five husbands and is living with a man who is not her husband (v. 18). Scripture has finally revealed why this woman is drawing water by herself with no other women around. A woman with such a reputation was an outcast from society. Scripture does not explain what happened in her relationships, but I think it is unlikely that all of her husbands had died. Yet, despite her social status, Jesus chooses to talk with her. At this point in the conversation the woman perceives Jesus to be a prophet (v. 19). She then discusses how the Samaritans and Jews worship in different places (v. 20), but Jesus explains that in a short while true worshippers of God won’t worship on the mountain or in Jerusalem. Instead, they will worship the Father in spirit and truth (vv. 21-24). Basically, He’s telling her that it doesn’t matter if a person is a Jew or Samaritan or even what she has done in her life. The Father desires worshippers who will truly seek Him. As we know, Christ will be the One to bridge the gap between Jews and Gentiles on the cross, but He’s already telling this woman that ethnicity and gender will not hinder a person from being part of the kingdom of God. The woman confesses that she knows that the Messiah is coming, and He will declare all things. Jesus then reveals that He is the One (vv. 25-26). After this, the woman declares what she has heard to the men in the city.

In the meantime, the disciples meet up with Jesus again and encourage Him to eat (despite their confusion seeing Jesus speaking to a woman) (v. 31). Jesus explains that “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to accomplish His work” (v. 34). I believe that in the context of this passage, the Father’s will was for Jesus to share God’s salvation with the Samaritan woman. Why is this? Let’s check out vv. 39-42, “From that city many of the Samaritans believed in Him because of the word of the woman who testified, ‘He told me all the things that I have done.’ So when the Samaritans came to Jesus, they were asking Him to stay with them; and He stayed there two days. Many more believed because of His word; and they were saying to the woman, ‘It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves and know that this One is indeed the Savior of the world.’” The woman could have walked away from Jesus when He confronted her about her past and her current lifestyle. However, I believe she realized that even though He knew everything about her, He was still willing to share something important with her. The Father knew that she would be the one to spread the good news to the men of the city who knew her reputation. Maybe that’s what caught their attention. Many of them believed that Jesus was the Messiah because of her testimony.

I don’t want to infer too much about this passage, but I think it’s safe to say that the Samaritan woman was hurt by some people in her life. It also seems like that she made some poor choices based on her current lifestyle. Ultimately, being an outcast couldn’t have been easy, but the Father approached her through Christ. He gave her hope that there’s something better to come. I’m sure it was tough to hear all the things that the Messiah knew about her. No one wants to be exposed like that. But it was done out of love so that she could come to know salvation as a true child of God.

Reflecting on this story, it is apparent that the Father views His daughters as important and precious. Not all of us have gone through the same experiences as the Samaritan woman, and I’m not suggesting that we’ve all made poor choices in our relationships. I know there are women who have been abused and worse. But we need to know and believe that the Father is always good. His desire is that we will always come to Him with our hurt and be healed. We can’t compare what is earthly and temporary with what is perfect and eternal. Let us trust Him today for He is Hope. He is always there when we turn to Him.

I mentioned in the beginning of this post that I had a friend who was hurt by her father’s decisions. During that time I wrote a song for her from God’s perspective. I hope you find it encouraging as you continue to follow God and trust Him.

My Daughter (originally written May 30, 2008)

(Verses)

You are precious, My daughter.

I cover you.

You are priceless, My child.

I will heal you.

I will lift you up.

I will bandage your wounds.

Come to me, come to me,

come to me, My beloved.

 

You see yourself unworthy.

I see you a queen.

You have captured My heart

with one glance towards Me.

You are beautiful, My love.

You are worth it all to Me.

 

(Chorus)

Why do you hide from me, your King?

Don’t you know I see you crying?

I long to see you dancing again.

I look upon you in adoration.

You are My desire.

Cry no more, My child.

I will show you love,

My perfect love,

Your Father’s love.

 

(Verse)

Reach for me My daughter.

I’m reaching for you.

I embrace you, My child.

I am strengthening you.

I promise to love you

for all My days,

for eternity,

always.

I’m loving you always.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Breaking the Chains

We are free in Christ, yet why are we still bound by certain sins? Our flesh fights against our spirit daily. The more we try to follow God, the more we feel it. The more we feel it, the more we want to give into our flesh because it seems easier. I write this from my own daily experience. For as long as I can remember I have been prone to anger and giving into frustrations. It may not seem like such a “terrible” sin, but it affects everyone around me. I can’t even count how many times I’ve had to say “I’m sorry.” Sometimes I’m not aware of what’s lurking underneath the surface until something (usually small) happens, and I snap. Other times I feel it building, and even though I know it’s wrong to give in, it’s so hard to not want to release the wrath. Many times I do. Yet, God doesn’t let me off the hook. He’s made it clear that I need to change, and if He has confidence in me that I can do it, then I can. We all have struggles and recurring sins that seem to hold us bound, but remember that we are free! We don’t have to give into our flesh. Our Father has confidence in us, His children, to make the right choices. If we follow Him wholeheartedly and die to our flesh daily, we can become godly men and women who are lights in this world. I’m definitely better than I was a few years ago, but there’s still more work to do. Let’s encourage one another in Christ so that we can be mature and ready for everything God has for us to do.

A few months ago I wrote a poem describing my fight with anger. I hope it encourages and challenges you.

Anger (originally written May 13, 2014)

I wake up, but I am not alone.

I feel the claws and the burning underneath my skin.

It’s trying to get out,

and I can’t contain it for long.

 

How destructive is a thought?

It never seems like much

until it starts to grow.

A thought then transforms

into an emotion,

and it changes me from the inside

out.

 

The claws, the thoughts, the emotions—

the monster breaks free,

leaving me bound and hopeless.

I lash out without thought,

wanting to feel the wrath,

yet secretly wishing to change.

 

The wave of destruction hits,

but then guilt.

“I didn’t fight hard enough.

I could’ve killed it.”

Yet I forget that it answers to me.

 

I have bound myself to its will,

forgetting I am free

because Christ has removed my chains.

It is now time to carry my cross

and kill the anger inside.

If I am a slave,

it’s only because I choose to be.

Bear Fruit

This photo is inspired by John 15:1-11: “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples. Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.”

Fruit can only grow when it’s connected to the source. Let us abide in Christ today.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Season

We all go through seasons in our lives, and sometimes it seems easier to let the tough ones lead us away from God. But as many of us have learned, walking away from God doesn’t make things better. Instead, let us cling to the Lord and grow through our pain and trials. May we become more refined and stronger in our Christian walk because of it. Here’s a depiction of what that looks like.

Season (originally written February 8, 2014)

A new flower blossoms in springtime

as it bathes in radiant sunshine

and drinks in the refreshing rain

from heaven.

 

Nothing to disturb it now

except a storm or two,

but even if a few petals fall

they will grow back anew.

~

The inevitable comes as the wind changes,

the air feels crisp and chill.

The petals fall more frequently now.

How can this be God’s will?

 

Exposed, bare, and withered

the flower disappears under a blanket of snow

and ponders its purpose.

Oh, how will it grow?

~

Time passes by;

it feels like an eternity.

Then a ray of light pierces the darkness,

and the flower rediscovers its identity.

 

In truth, it was never lost.

Only a season had passed.

The blossoms begin to return

and this year, the flower is stronger than last.

 

It is a mystery why the seasons change,

why the world becomes cold,

why the light seems to fade,

yet without the death of the old,

new things cannot unfold.

 

With the passing of a season,

the flower becomes alive again

with newfound hope and rejuvenation.

Now there is nothing to fear,

nothing to dread,

because the Creator knows what lies ahead.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

What is True Beauty?

Beauty (originally written May 27, 2009)

Beauty is not characterized

by the efforts of my appearance,

but was borne

upon two wooden beams and through three piercing nails.

 

With each drive of a nail

faces line up in the mind of the Savior, one after another,

each with a mask of his own:

deception, shame, pride.

 

With each tear being shed

and every cry screaming from the cross,

women fall into the arms of men,

hoping to find true love and longing to hear those words:

“You are beautiful.”

 

With each dig from the thorns

and tearing of flesh,

men seek fortune and fame,

believing that power can only be obtained

through ambitions and violence.

 

“It is finished.”

The world with its

tainted love and enticing roads to death

stands still.

 

Divine blood pours over

the lost and broken,

vain and deceptive,

young and aged.

 

It penetrates every evil,

wipes off each mask,

exposes truth

and defines true love.

 

This beauty can only be found

through such brokenness,

through such sacrifice,

with the invitation of accepting it for myself.

 

Beauty is the power of Your love

that flows through my veins

and enraptures all of who You are

in me.

© Lauren Heiligenthal