Author: Lauren (Heiligenthal) Demuth

Live Like Christ

Do you ever have moments when your mind recalls past mistakes and failures? I do. On the flip side, there are times when I’ll remember good things about myself and then wonder if they still exist. I know I’ve changed over these past few years, and I know that some people don’t understand that the change has been for the better. Sometimes we have to leave what we know behind and move forward. It’s not necessarily because our lives are horrible, but rather, God has called us to do something else, to be someone else.

In the midst of change in my life, I was in school most of the time. I’m grateful for my education, and I know that God called me to finish my degrees. However, I’ve learned that a person needs to have solid faith before starting a Christian education (or any education). I know this sounds strange. You would think such an education would help build up my faith. Instead, my faith was tested. There were many times when Scripture and classroom teaching were not in sync. I started to challenge what I was taught, and it was not always welcomed by faculty. I had to make a choice: Defend truth or believe everything I was taught. I’ve been trying to defend truth ever since. There were times when it was difficult to go to school, but I was reminded that there’s always something to learn even if I don’t agree with it. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not perfect. I’m still learning and working on my areas of struggle. As a result, I wrote a poem a few months ago to help me figure out my thoughts. Maybe you can relate.

Live Like Christ (originally written March 13, 2014)

My mind keeps wandering,

reminiscing about the past.

I get drawn in too deep

with no way to escape.

 

I remember all my mistakes,

and when I was more courageous.

I let myself become someone I wasn’t,

and I discarded too much of who I was.

 

I used to sing proud

and comfort a friend in need.

I fought for Your truth,

but now I’m caught between truth and theology.

 

Father, help me dig through my sin and fear

and find who I’m supposed to be.

I want to live,

live like Christ.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Dichotomy

Are you influenced by the world? I’m not sure I’d believe you if your answer is “No.” We’re all part of a culture (or many cultures) from the time we’re born. We don’t realize how much it becomes ingrained in us until we are confronted with other cultures. What may be acceptable in my culture may not be acceptable in yours. Scripture is a whole different standard. It rises above culture even though God can work within it. As Christians we’re taught to be in the world but not of it. Easier said than done. We’re called to live differently even though our culture may not understand. We stand against the world’s norms only to be attacked for not being tolerant. We’re called to fight our flesh and walk in the Spirit. As much as I’ve grown in the Lord over the years, I still struggle with fear and worry. I didn’t realize how much I still think like the American culture until recently. God has demonstrated His power and provision abundantly in my life, yet I still falter. I’m sure I’m not alone. From what I’ve observed through my Christian education, current Christianity (at least from an American perspective) is not that different from the world…and this is a problem. We claim the supremacy and power of God while trying to do everything on our own. We follow the cultural routine of going to school, getting a job, making money, etc. without even consulting God because we’re taught that these actions are the right, Christian things to do. We’re also inspired when we read about the disciples because they dropped everything to follow Christ. They literally left their livelihoods. Sometimes they were ordered by Christ to take money and extra clothing with them on their journeys whereas other times they were supposed to be provided for by the people they ministered to. As disciples of Christ, are we willing to follow God like this? To live in constant trust that the Lord takes care of His children? I don’t know about you, but it’s the world in me that keeps me from such trust…and it’s my job to kick it out. I wrote a short poem to help me sort through all of these thoughts.

The World in Me (originally written September 9, 2014)

Striving to follow God,

I’m being held back by my own mind.

I thought I purged the world from within,

but there’s still residue.

 

I never realized how powerful culture can be

until I started to fight it.

How ingrained are my ways of thinking.

How set are the priorities of the world.

 

I focus on what’s temporary instead of the eternal.

I place what I need to accomplish above others.

Instead of following the wisdom of the world,

I ought to be a fool for Christ:

 

Ministry is greater than monetary gain.

Selflessness demonstrates true love.

Forgiveness is more powerful than bitterness.

Trusting what is unseen results in the miraculous.

 

The world does not understand these things,

but the Spirit does.

It’s time to stop living with this dichotomy

and vanquish the world in me.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

A Tribute to the Persecuted and Slain

You told the Father you’d follow His will.

You accepted His Son without hesitancy.

You carried your cross even unto the gates of hell,

But the enemy did not prevail.

 

Tortured, battered, beheaded

For the sake of His name,

You have stood for righteousness

In a world where evil reigns.

 

You’ve demonstrated the cost of discipleship

By laying down your life.

Death was more honorable than saying,

“I forsake Jesus Christ.”

 

I hear your stories, and I weep for you.

How can humanity be so cruel?

Yet even with such malicious intent,

Your sacrifice is beautiful.

 

It is beautiful to the One who welcomes you home,

To Him who says, “I will avenge!”

It is beautiful to the Son who understands your pain,

To Him who calls you servant, child, and friend.

 

You have placed your feet on the Solid Rock

When all around you is quicksand.

Your resilience in the midst of adversity

Has challenged the Body to stand.

 

We will remember you

And your commitment to the King.

May we be willing to live like you,

Giving up everything.

 

This world is not our home.

It only reaps anger, hatred, and fear.

Our destination is eternity

Where the Lord heals every pain, wipes every tear.

 

To all of God’s people, stand firm and be ready

For the enemy shows no restraint.

But whatever the cost may be,

Let us stand strong with the persecuted and slain.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Daughters of the Heavenly Father

A few years ago I had a friend who was a daddy’s girl. From what I observed, she and her father seemed to understand each other well and enjoy one another’s company. Then all of a sudden her father failed her family in a big way. I knew she was devastated. The life she knew was shattered, and I tried my best to be there for her even though I couldn’t relate. It seemed like the idea of a good, heavenly Father began to fade after this moment in her life.

Maybe you have a similar story of your own. Maybe your father or a father figure in your life let you down, and it’s hard to comprehend a loving, heavenly Father. I believe one of the hardest lessons to learn in life is that people will let us down. Sometimes they’ll leave scars. Sometimes their words and actions resound in our hearts and minds to the point that we begin to trust no one. However, we should always be able to have confidence in our Father.

For some, it might be hard to trust the Father because of His relationship with Jesus. You might be thinking, “The Father sacrificed His only Son! How could He truly love Jesus?” We must remember two things when reflecting on this relationship. First, the Father sacrificed His Son in order to save us. This was the only way. In Scripture, sacrifices had to be perfect, and it had to mean something to the one offering the sacrifice. Jesus was (and still is) perfect in every way. He was/is God. He is a part of the Father (“I and the Father are one”- John 10:22), which means that this sacrifice hurt the Father tremendously. The second thing to remember is that Jesus willingly sacrificed Himself. Consider John 10:14-15 where Jesus says, “I am the good shepherd, and I know My own and My own know Me, even as the Father knows Me and I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.” He continues these thoughts in vv. 17-18, “For this reason the Father loves Me, because I lay down My life so that I may take it again. No one has taken it away from Me, but I lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. This commandment I received from My Father.” Jesus trusted the Father even knowing that His sacrifice was coming. His reason for dying, His sheep (us), outweighed the pain of death. I say all of this to encourage you that everything the Father does is out of love. Our earthly fathers make mistakes. Sometimes they’re there for us and try really hard. Other times they’re non-existent. But our heavenly Father is ALWAYS there, and ALWAYS loves. We just have to be willing to trust Him and follow Him down the path He has designed for us.

I realize that some of you may have great fathers, but maybe there have been other men in your life that have let you down. Maybe you’ve entered relationships that have left you feeling hurt and hopeless, and the idea of turning to your heavenly Father is not appealing because of this hurt. Consider Jesus’ interaction with the Samaritan woman in John 4. Verses 6 and 8 explain that Jesus is weary from his journey from Judea to Samaria, and His disciples go into the city while Jesus rests at Jacob’s well. During this time a Samaritan woman comes to draw water (v. 7). Now we know that nothing is a coincidence when it comes to Jesus meeting people. Even though the woman comes to draw water, Jesus engages in conversation with her first (v. 7). This was a big deal not only because He spoke with a woman alone, but Jews didn’t interact with Samaritans (v. 9). Despite this fact, Jesus simply asks her for a drink. The Samaritan woman is confused and asks why He chooses to talk with a Samaritan woman since He is a Jew. Right from the start Jesus turns a simple request for water into an invitation to eternal life: “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked Him, and He would have given you living water” (v. 10). Again, the woman seems to be confused by what Jesus tells her and about who He is (vv. 11-12). Jesus continues His salvation message in vv. 13-14: “Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.”

In v. 15 the woman still doesn’t seem to understand what Jesus is telling her. She still thinks in terms of her physical thirst. Jesus then says, “Go, call your husband and come here” (v. 16). This seems random at first, but Jesus knows what He’s doing. The woman replies, “I have no husband” (v. 17) after which Jesus confirms that this is true because she’s already had five husbands and is living with a man who is not her husband (v. 18). Scripture has finally revealed why this woman is drawing water by herself with no other women around. A woman with such a reputation was an outcast from society. Scripture does not explain what happened in her relationships, but I think it is unlikely that all of her husbands had died. Yet, despite her social status, Jesus chooses to talk with her. At this point in the conversation the woman perceives Jesus to be a prophet (v. 19). She then discusses how the Samaritans and Jews worship in different places (v. 20), but Jesus explains that in a short while true worshippers of God won’t worship on the mountain or in Jerusalem. Instead, they will worship the Father in spirit and truth (vv. 21-24). Basically, He’s telling her that it doesn’t matter if a person is a Jew or Samaritan or even what she has done in her life. The Father desires worshippers who will truly seek Him. As we know, Christ will be the One to bridge the gap between Jews and Gentiles on the cross, but He’s already telling this woman that ethnicity and gender will not hinder a person from being part of the kingdom of God. The woman confesses that she knows that the Messiah is coming, and He will declare all things. Jesus then reveals that He is the One (vv. 25-26). After this, the woman declares what she has heard to the men in the city.

In the meantime, the disciples meet up with Jesus again and encourage Him to eat (despite their confusion seeing Jesus speaking to a woman) (v. 31). Jesus explains that “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to accomplish His work” (v. 34). I believe that in the context of this passage, the Father’s will was for Jesus to share God’s salvation with the Samaritan woman. Why is this? Let’s check out vv. 39-42, “From that city many of the Samaritans believed in Him because of the word of the woman who testified, ‘He told me all the things that I have done.’ So when the Samaritans came to Jesus, they were asking Him to stay with them; and He stayed there two days. Many more believed because of His word; and they were saying to the woman, ‘It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves and know that this One is indeed the Savior of the world.’” The woman could have walked away from Jesus when He confronted her about her past and her current lifestyle. However, I believe she realized that even though He knew everything about her, He was still willing to share something important with her. The Father knew that she would be the one to spread the good news to the men of the city who knew her reputation. Maybe that’s what caught their attention. Many of them believed that Jesus was the Messiah because of her testimony.

I don’t want to infer too much about this passage, but I think it’s safe to say that the Samaritan woman was hurt by some people in her life. It also seems like that she made some poor choices based on her current lifestyle. Ultimately, being an outcast couldn’t have been easy, but the Father approached her through Christ. He gave her hope that there’s something better to come. I’m sure it was tough to hear all the things that the Messiah knew about her. No one wants to be exposed like that. But it was done out of love so that she could come to know salvation as a true child of God.

Reflecting on this story, it is apparent that the Father views His daughters as important and precious. Not all of us have gone through the same experiences as the Samaritan woman, and I’m not suggesting that we’ve all made poor choices in our relationships. I know there are women who have been abused and worse. But we need to know and believe that the Father is always good. His desire is that we will always come to Him with our hurt and be healed. We can’t compare what is earthly and temporary with what is perfect and eternal. Let us trust Him today for He is Hope. He is always there when we turn to Him.

I mentioned in the beginning of this post that I had a friend who was hurt by her father’s decisions. During that time I wrote a song for her from God’s perspective. I hope you find it encouraging as you continue to follow God and trust Him.

My Daughter (originally written May 30, 2008)

(Verses)

You are precious, My daughter.

I cover you.

You are priceless, My child.

I will heal you.

I will lift you up.

I will bandage your wounds.

Come to me, come to me,

come to me, My beloved.

 

You see yourself unworthy.

I see you a queen.

You have captured My heart

with one glance towards Me.

You are beautiful, My love.

You are worth it all to Me.

 

(Chorus)

Why do you hide from me, your King?

Don’t you know I see you crying?

I long to see you dancing again.

I look upon you in adoration.

You are My desire.

Cry no more, My child.

I will show you love,

My perfect love,

Your Father’s love.

 

(Verse)

Reach for me My daughter.

I’m reaching for you.

I embrace you, My child.

I am strengthening you.

I promise to love you

for all My days,

for eternity,

always.

I’m loving you always.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Breaking the Chains

We are free in Christ, yet why are we still bound by certain sins? Our flesh fights against our spirit daily. The more we try to follow God, the more we feel it. The more we feel it, the more we want to give into our flesh because it seems easier. I write this from my own daily experience. For as long as I can remember I have been prone to anger and giving into frustrations. It may not seem like such a “terrible” sin, but it affects everyone around me. I can’t even count how many times I’ve had to say “I’m sorry.” Sometimes I’m not aware of what’s lurking underneath the surface until something (usually small) happens, and I snap. Other times I feel it building, and even though I know it’s wrong to give in, it’s so hard to not want to release the wrath. Many times I do. Yet, God doesn’t let me off the hook. He’s made it clear that I need to change, and if He has confidence in me that I can do it, then I can. We all have struggles and recurring sins that seem to hold us bound, but remember that we are free! We don’t have to give into our flesh. Our Father has confidence in us, His children, to make the right choices. If we follow Him wholeheartedly and die to our flesh daily, we can become godly men and women who are lights in this world. I’m definitely better than I was a few years ago, but there’s still more work to do. Let’s encourage one another in Christ so that we can be mature and ready for everything God has for us to do.

A few months ago I wrote a poem describing my fight with anger. I hope it encourages and challenges you.

Anger (originally written May 13, 2014)

I wake up, but I am not alone.

I feel the claws and the burning underneath my skin.

It’s trying to get out,

and I can’t contain it for long.

 

How destructive is a thought?

It never seems like much

until it starts to grow.

A thought then transforms

into an emotion,

and it changes me from the inside

out.

 

The claws, the thoughts, the emotions—

the monster breaks free,

leaving me bound and hopeless.

I lash out without thought,

wanting to feel the wrath,

yet secretly wishing to change.

 

The wave of destruction hits,

but then guilt.

“I didn’t fight hard enough.

I could’ve killed it.”

Yet I forget that it answers to me.

 

I have bound myself to its will,

forgetting I am free

because Christ has removed my chains.

It is now time to carry my cross

and kill the anger inside.

If I am a slave,

it’s only because I choose to be.

Bear Fruit

This photo is inspired by John 15:1-11: “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples. Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.”

Fruit can only grow when it’s connected to the source. Let us abide in Christ today.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Season

We all go through seasons in our lives, and sometimes it seems easier to let the tough ones lead us away from God. But as many of us have learned, walking away from God doesn’t make things better. Instead, let us cling to the Lord and grow through our pain and trials. May we become more refined and stronger in our Christian walk because of it. Here’s a depiction of what that looks like.

Season (originally written February 8, 2014)

A new flower blossoms in springtime

as it bathes in radiant sunshine

and drinks in the refreshing rain

from heaven.

 

Nothing to disturb it now

except a storm or two,

but even if a few petals fall

they will grow back anew.

~

The inevitable comes as the wind changes,

the air feels crisp and chill.

The petals fall more frequently now.

How can this be God’s will?

 

Exposed, bare, and withered

the flower disappears under a blanket of snow

and ponders its purpose.

Oh, how will it grow?

~

Time passes by;

it feels like an eternity.

Then a ray of light pierces the darkness,

and the flower rediscovers its identity.

 

In truth, it was never lost.

Only a season had passed.

The blossoms begin to return

and this year, the flower is stronger than last.

 

It is a mystery why the seasons change,

why the world becomes cold,

why the light seems to fade,

yet without the death of the old,

new things cannot unfold.

 

With the passing of a season,

the flower becomes alive again

with newfound hope and rejuvenation.

Now there is nothing to fear,

nothing to dread,

because the Creator knows what lies ahead.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

What is True Beauty?

Beauty (originally written May 27, 2009)

Beauty is not characterized

by the efforts of my appearance,

but was borne

upon two wooden beams and through three piercing nails.

 

With each drive of a nail

faces line up in the mind of the Savior, one after another,

each with a mask of his own:

deception, shame, pride.

 

With each tear being shed

and every cry screaming from the cross,

women fall into the arms of men,

hoping to find true love and longing to hear those words:

“You are beautiful.”

 

With each dig from the thorns

and tearing of flesh,

men seek fortune and fame,

believing that power can only be obtained

through ambitions and violence.

 

“It is finished.”

The world with its

tainted love and enticing roads to death

stands still.

 

Divine blood pours over

the lost and broken,

vain and deceptive,

young and aged.

 

It penetrates every evil,

wipes off each mask,

exposes truth

and defines true love.

 

This beauty can only be found

through such brokenness,

through such sacrifice,

with the invitation of accepting it for myself.

 

Beauty is the power of Your love

that flows through my veins

and enraptures all of who You are

in me.

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Writing a Song for God

I’ve written a few songs over the years even though I don’t play an instrument. A melody pops in my head with the hope that it can be put to music one day. Some songs are written for people whereas others are to express my own thoughts and struggles. In the end they always point back to God. Recently, I felt like God was asking me to write a song for Him. It was both exciting and terrifying to think about. I didn’t want to just come up with something like I usually do. This was different. As a human, how could I write something that was worthy for our Lord? Yet David wrote many songs for God, and they expressed all sorts of emotions and ideas. My question ended up being the first line to this song: “How can I write a song for you, my King?” As you can read for yourself, the rest of the song shares about God’s greatness. He created everything, yet He gave His life for me…for ALL of us. Yes, it sounds like the most simple salvation message, and it is. But do we take the time to consider how powerful it is? This song isn’t just about what He’s done in my life, but in yours too. He loved us to the point of sacrifice. There’s no perfect way to describe how great God is, but our own lives should be testimonies to His greatness. We’ve been transformed only because of Him. May our lives shine, demonstrating His magnificence. We are unworthy, but He has made us whole in a world that wants to see us permanently broken.

How Great You Are (originally written July 26, 2014)

(Verses)
How can I write a song for you, my King?
How can I capture the beauty of the One who saved me?

How can I describe Your majesty?
You created all things yet gave Your life for me.

How can I justify my deeds to the One who sees everything?
But You came and rescued me, and Your love has freed me.

(Chorus)
How can I even tell You how great You are?
You made the heavens and the stars.
What is love without You?
It is who You are,
And You’ve placed it in my heart.
Oh, You are in my heart.

(Verses)
There’ve been many times when I’ve made mistakes.
I was too ashamed to show You my face.

(But) when I told You my sin You showed me Your grace.
I didn’t have to stay in the same place.

You are God; there is no one else like You.
You rescued me from myself, and I forever thank You.

(Chorus 2x)

© Lauren Heiligenthal

Boko Haram beheaded six-year-old Christian boy, group reports http://t.co/QZV0M1nlbX

This is a heartbreaking story, and I almost didn’t want to read it. But we can’t ignore what is happening to our brothers and sisters in Christ. Most of us are blessed not to face this kind of persecution, but these actions should also encourage us to put aside our differences with each other and become the church that Christ died for. Let us continue to lift up our family in prayer.

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